Mom passed away Dec. 3. 2010 she was the only person I could talk to about any thing and everything. I'm gay. Everything with the exception of that issue any way. She never new, and I could not bring myself to tell her. No one knows; not even my best friend. I was raised in a strict southern baptist home; and that sort of thing was never discussed. Plus I am not making enough money to make it. Cannot not go back to school; unable to study; due to grief. Just do not know what I am going to do. I know is sounds like I am being a big baby; but it just so hard to put my down my feelings. I'm not even sure I can feel any thing. There is no one in my life. Besides who would want me. I know I should not say that but its how I feel.