I can honestly say I don't feel like living anymore.

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by poison, Aug 31, 2009.

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  1. poison

    poison Well-Known Member

    i just don't care about life anymore. every day is exactly the same. i don't really want to die, but god i really don't enjoy life. i'm so lazy, i suck at school, i basically suck at everything. i feel so empty and purposeless all the time. i don't want to live anymore and i'm honestly thinking of ending it. people have been telling me life will get better but i've waited and i just don't see any improvement. at least if i kill myself it will be the first time i've ever taken initiative to do something. i really don't want to live anymore.
     
  2. cult logic

    cult logic Staff Alumni

    Have you done anything to improve it?

    If not that's why waiting hasn't done shit.

    It won't fix itself...
     
  3. poison

    poison Well-Known Member

    did you not get jack shit out of my first post? i don't want to do anything, i'm fucking shit at everything i do. i wasn't cut out to live life, i'm not good enough.
     
  4. cult logic

    cult logic Staff Alumni

    That sucks.

    *shrug*
     
  5. poison

    poison Well-Known Member

    cool story bro
     
  6. Aimee_in_Wonderland

    Aimee_in_Wonderland Well-Known Member

    hey, im sorry your feeling this way right now,
    but life does get better in time,
    you have to be awesome at something you cant suck at everything!
    im always here if you want to chat just send me a pm
     
  7. poison

    poison Well-Known Member

    im sorry im being a dick to everyone (im not really sorry, i just should let you know im not normally this much of an ass tho) but i just cant take this anymore. i dont want to live anymore, i have no initiative to do anything. i have no purpose, nothing to live for. ive repressed this feeling for so long and now its absolutely tearing me apart.
     
  8. poison

    poison Well-Known Member

    everyone i know is so goddamn prententious. no one's real, what is the point? i fucking hate every last one of those people at my school. so pretentious. i could live through the work but everyone around me, no one's real, no one can relate, and no one would.
     
  9. morning rush

    morning rush Well-Known Member

    Life does get a little better once your out of highschool because people get a bit more serious...for me it did get better and then all of a sudden years later it went worse....

    Do you have a therapist? A professional to talk to?
     
  10. Hae-Gi

    Hae-Gi Banned Member

    I read some from your other thread. Have you thought of trying to get your ex-girlfriend back? If you won't try it won't happen. Maybe it's possible?
     
  11. poison

    poison Well-Known Member

    it's such a long goddamn story. i think she's dating another dude first of all but more importantly she doesnt have to much to do with it. although i think of her a lot. i tried after the relationship, like a week after, but you know how that works, they dont want to think of that, they just want to leave it behind i guess. its so awkward for me to even look at her.
     
  12. Hae-Gi

    Hae-Gi Banned Member

    Hmm, well, time has passed... maybe try again? If it doesn't work then at least you know you tried. Just don't blurt out that you still love her. :/ Unless she'd say it first, anyway.
     
  13. poison

    poison Well-Known Member

    i dont necessarily still love her but a part of me will always love her.
     
  14. poison

    poison Well-Known Member

    i'm incredibly sorry towards who i mouthed off too. i was in a horrible, horrible mood last night and i didn't mean what i said to you guys. i dont know if i feel any better, i guess ill see how today goes.
     
  15. Littlewiji

    Littlewiji Well-Known Member

    NOONE is shit at everything.
     
  16. Stranger1

    Stranger1 Forum Buddy & Antiquities Friend

    It sounds to me that you are stagnating.. You have been down for so long without any positive input..You really need a good therapist.. I use to be like you wanting to die all the time.. Even though I still live in isolation my therapist has helped me to deal with my SI..You need that outside stimulation and it will give you food for thought... Instead of harping to yourself that you want to end it.. You probably would benefit from a stay at the hospital also so you can better understand why you have SI..Are you on meds?? If not they will probably put you on some starting with a low dose.. I wish you all the best...
     
  17. poison

    poison Well-Known Member

    i just thought i'd reply to this. well written and genuine, imo. i used to be on meds a long time ago but my situation with my ex gf was real fucked up. i was like overly jealous and somewhat obsessed to a degree with manipulating and controlling her (keeping her to myself) so i became incredibly depressed and hated myself. so i got put on mood stabilizers. i also used to have a therapist but he was retarded. it was some old man who looked like a janitor and my parents always made fun of me for having to go, so i never wanted to in result. i havent always been depressed or suicidal, i thought id say.
     
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