I can just pretend...

Discussion in 'Welcome' started by ImFine, Aug 4, 2014.

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  1. ImFine

    ImFine Member

    I've been pretending for so long that everything's alright... In its very own odd way it is, always. It has to be right? I have people who need me. I guess after a while of saying it.... It just is. My facade is so tight around my face, I don't know how else to be. I'm fine. I always am. I have to be. So, I close my eyes. Hopefully, sleep so deep that when I wake up it's so possible that I didn't exist that I can pretend I don't. Why not? I pretend it's always alright, and I'm always fine. It all works out. If I reveal my weakness, my world destroyed, everyone else's around me crumbles to mock my ruin. I know this. I am perhaps the strongest weakling. In my existence anyway. Who can I talk to? My ruin is quite ugly. My weakness is quite pathetic. My burden feels so heavy that it alone is putting me in the ground. I have to try this. I have to try something. I can't pretend much longer, and I can't take my life. As I said, I'm needed. I lost my very close friend and uncle to suicide. I won't allow my grief to fall on the hearts of my loved ones. I feel hopeless. I guess we all do... I don't know what else to do. I found myself learning <Mod Edit:Methods> Then I learned about fembutal. Then I learned of this forum. Here I am... And I'm fine.
    Last edited by a moderator: Aug 5, 2014
  2. Twocky61

    Twocky61 Banned Member

    :welcome_mouse: to SF ImFine

  3. Hatshepsut

    Hatshepsut Guest

    Pink hugs are fun. So are giraffes, an ancient Egyptian symbol of "foresight." We do foresee the endless sleep of eternity, where we won't remember our life or our death, and where we will never have existed. It seems it is a special burden of being human, to have this foreknowledge of eternity.

    Hope you feel welcome here. You always deserve the best in life.
  4. ImFine

    ImFine Member

    Thank you
  5. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Member Safety & Support SF Supporter

    Hi and welcome, I hope this forum can give you the support you need to seek professional help and be enough for you not to go through with your plans, professional help would be good for you. Vent/talk here anytime you want, there will always be someone here for you x
  6. ImFine

    ImFine Member

    I have PTSD from my childhood. Much of my life has been spent with professionals. Thank you for the advice.
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