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I can never compete with anyone else. Everyone is always better than me.

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#1
Let me just preface this by saying I fucking hate typing what im about to type. It's so fucking ingrained in me to act like I'm good and nothings wrong, so it's almost physically painful to admit these things. Admitting that I have these problems and telling others about them makes me feel genuinely sick. So I'm sorry if it doesn't make too much sense or if it seems like im rambling.

After a lot of self introspection, I've realized that a lot of my depressions and insecurities stem from the fact that I'm not the person I think I should be. I look around and see everyone above me, doing so well, meanwhile I'm just... me. Plain old me. Boring old me.

I feel like almost everyone around me is better than me in almost every way. They're smarter, funnier, more attractive, more talented, more passionate, and just in general better than me. And it hurts so much. I feel like a complete waste of a human being, because I provide literally nothing that someone else can't do but better.

Like im decent at one or two things, but that's it. Just decent.

Think about it like this. Let's say you could eat anywhere in the world you want for free. Why would you go get a Big Mac from McDicks when you can get a five star meal from a five star restaraunt? That is how I feel summed up in two sentences. Sure a Big Mac isn't bad but you only ever go get one when it's convenient. You wouldn't ever get one if you had an easier (and better) alternative.

Fuckin hell, why should I even be alive if there's nothing worthwhile about me? I could vanish and nothing of value would really be lost. Imagine your favorite movie, but one random extra is taken out. You would have no idea that something is missing, and it would still be your favorite movie.

I could just.. disappear... and nobody would be the wiser.
 
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1964dodge

Has a frog in the family
Forum Pro
SF Supporter
#2
first i'm sorry that you feel this bad. there are going to be people better than you for your whole life. but if you look carefully you will find people better off than you and people less fortunate, don't compare yourself to others just try to be the best person you can be.

and at your age you have decades to be the person you want to be. you may never have the perfect life few people do, but you can have a great life filled with joy. try to figure out what you want in life and strive for it. i hope you feel better soon...mike...*hug*console*shake
 
#3
Do you think that in principle that you would be able to change your perspective on things?

There's always going to be somebody that has more, and there's always going to be somebody that has less. There's really no avoiding feeling bad if you focus on others having more.
 

Reaver

Well-Known Member
#4
I'm just... me. Plain old me. Boring old me.
...
I could vanish and nothing of value would really be lost. Imagine your favorite movie, but one random extra is taken out. You would have no idea that something is missing, and it would still be your favorite movie.
Oh man, I feel that. I think this exact perspective may be one of the main reasons I isolate myself and tend to enjoy it. I'm much happier when I'm not stressing myself out over other people and what they think of me (or whether they even do, in some cases) but I know that it's probably not the best solution, if it can even be considered one.

There are still many things I need to figure out myself, so I'm sorry that I can't be of much help. The feeling of worthlessness and that everyone else is better comes to play on this site, too. Everyone else can offer good support and advice, while I... I don't know what I can really offer. Maybe just letting you know someone can relate to your pain? I don't know how much that means, though.
 

1964dodge

Has a frog in the family
Forum Pro
SF Supporter
#5
Oh man, I feel that. I think this exact perspective may be one of the main reasons I isolate myself and tend to enjoy it. I'm much happier when I'm not stressing myself out over other people and what they think of me (or whether they even do, in some cases) but I know that it's probably not the best solution, if it can even be considered one.

There are still many things I need to figure out myself, so I'm sorry that I can't be of much help. The feeling of worthlessness and that everyone else is better comes to play on this site, too. Everyone else can offer good support and advice, while I... I don't know what I can really offer. Maybe just letting you know someone can relate to your pain? I don't know how much that means, though.
*hug
 

Daphna

Ninja of light
#6
Let me just preface this by saying I fucking hate typing what im about to type. It's so fucking ingrained in me to act like I'm good and nothings wrong, so it's almost physically painful to admit these things. Admitting that I have these problems and telling others about them makes me feel genuinely sick. So I'm sorry if it doesn't make too much sense or if it seems like im rambling.

After a lot of self introspection, I've realized that a lot of my depressions and insecurities stem from the fact that I'm not the person I think I should be. I look around and see everyone above me, doing so well, meanwhile I'm just... me. Plain old me. Boring old me.

I feel like almost everyone around me is better than me in almost every way. They're smarter, funnier, more attractive, more talented, more passionate, and just in general better than me. And it hurts so much. I feel like a complete waste of a human being, because I provide literally nothing that someone else can't do but better.

Like im decent at one or two things, but that's it. Just decent.

Think about it like this. Let's say you could eat anywhere in the world you want for free. Why would you go get a Big Mac from McDicks when you can get a five star meal from a five star restaraunt? That is how I feel summed up in two sentences. Sure a Big Mac isn't bad but you only ever go get one when it's convenient. You wouldn't ever get one if you had an easier (and better) alternative.

Fuckin hell, why should I even be alive if there's nothing worthwhile about me? I could vanish and nothing of value would really be lost. Imagine your favorite movie, but one random extra is taken out. You would have no idea that something is missing, and it would still be your favorite movie.

I could just.. disappear... and nobody would be the wiser.
I know your life will improve. First you’d have to stop comparing yourself to everyone else. You are, you. No one else can be you. You are here and in your life. If someone else could have done a better job, you wouldn’t be here. Here you are, and you do have a purpose. We all do, otherwise we wouldn’t be here.
 

sinking_ship

woman overboard
Forum Pro
SF Supporter
#7
Oh man, I can relate to this a lot. Self esteem is one of the major things I work on in therapy. It's hard to get out of the habit of always assuming the worst about yourself. Your expectations of yourself are probably unreasonable though. Think of how you would consider a friend in your shoes - I bet you'd be a lot less mean to them.
 
#8
Why would you go get a Big Mac from McDicks when you can get a five star meal from a five star restaraunt?
because some people genuinely prefer a big mac from mcdicks than a five star restaurant!

Imagine your favorite movie, but one random extra is taken out. You would have no idea that something is missing, and it would still be your favorite movie.
I bet someone somewhere would be observant enough to notice something is missing, you wouldn't really say extras in movies are worthless would you? I mean no they don't lead the movie or make as huge of a difference, but they still count for something, they still have some purpose, which is better than nothing/no role at all

I really relate to you though, I feel the same in ways, not good enough, worthless, not "up there" with everyone else and I hate it. It feels shitty and I feel inadequate, but we gotta try and stop comparing ourselves to other people. they're them, we're us, we all have roles to play... even if we havent been "cast" yet. Also, a lot of it is probably low self-esteem or our minds making out it's bigger than it really is. These people that seem better than us don't necessarily think they are, ironically they might be thinking we're better than them! I know I've been surprised before when I've voiced that I feel like nothing in comparison to others and the people have said to me they feel like nothing in comparison to me!

its hard but we got to try to not let these lack of talents and stuff define us, it doesnt make us bad or less equal. I'm kinda a perfectionist though and want to be cool, so I do understand the struggle
 
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