I can not help the thoughts of harm

Discussion in 'Self Harm & Substance Abuse' started by Bipolar2andu, Oct 24, 2006.

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  1. Bipolar2andu

    Bipolar2andu Guest

    I have started slowly cutting on my arm. I used a kitchen knife and ran it across my arms in six places. It didn't cut deep, but left welps and long abrasions. I have tried this before, and I do not know why I have even started this. I know I'm depressed, I know I suffer from several illnesses, Bipolar being one, but even tho I felt pain running the knife across my arm, it was as if it helped ease my depression even if it was for a short period of time.

    Can anyone tell me why my mind would allow me to start this? I don't want to get to the point that I start cutting deeper, but I've started thinking about cutting more and more and it only started recently.

    As strange as it may sound, sometimes I really don't know who I am at points....it's as if I'm not really me, I'm just trap in a bad dream state and not able to wake up. I feel I'm just a walking pawn, no place to turn, and my mind racing so fast, and the thoughts keep pounding my brain over and over. And now the thoughts of cutting.
  2. Allo..

    Allo.. Well-Known Member

    You have to tell yourself NO straight out. When you go to do it, go to bed, just tell yourself NO im not doing this.. its hard.. but you have to try that before you can get anywhere. when you do wanna do it try going for a run, screaming into a pillow, punching a matress or something.. Good luck and please take care x`
  3. thesilence

    thesilence Guest

    I second the above.

    You need to be firm with yourself.
    Don't do it, it will only get worse...

    It's not worth the little bit of release.

    And it never will be
  4. ~CazzaAngel~

    ~CazzaAngel~ Staff Alumni

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