I have started slowly cutting on my arm. I used a kitchen knife and ran it across my arms in six places. It didn't cut deep, but left welps and long abrasions. I have tried this before, and I do not know why I have even started this. I know I'm depressed, I know I suffer from several illnesses, Bipolar being one, but even tho I felt pain running the knife across my arm, it was as if it helped ease my depression even if it was for a short period of time. Can anyone tell me why my mind would allow me to start this? I don't want to get to the point that I start cutting deeper, but I've started thinking about cutting more and more and it only started recently. As strange as it may sound, sometimes I really don't know who I am at points....it's as if I'm not really me, I'm just trap in a bad dream state and not able to wake up. I feel I'm just a walking pawn, no place to turn, and my mind racing so fast, and the thoughts keep pounding my brain over and over. And now the thoughts of cutting.