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i cannot be here much longer.

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by letdown, Nov 27, 2006.

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  1. letdown

    letdown Guest

    i cannot stand this any longer

    i hate being used and thrown out. this is how people treat each other. use and then throw out. a package on a shelf. when they are "full" with other people there is no room for me. my only function in life is to cater for their needs when they want.

    i am worthless. disgusting. a person who humiliates herself because she is lonely. who does not have any self-respect.

    i've had it. i've had enough, of myself and of others who have claimed to 'care' in the past. how can they live with themselves and what they have done? this is unbearable.

    i've got no one to talk to.

    i've not been this close to killing myself in a long while and i've got the means of doing it now. it's all i can think of. this world and the people in it are not meant for me. they take what i feel and twist and warp it and do not respect the fragility of what i have handed over to them.
  2. letdown

    letdown Guest

    god i cant stand this.
  3. letdown

    letdown Guest

    So. I am still here. Who would have known or cared, eh? 75 views and not one reply.

    I am still feeling like the above so if anybody has a spare second to reply to me it may help.
  4. blackfire

    blackfire Well-Known Member

    hi there

    i feel the same way, all my so called friends used me and know dont talk to me.
  5. Terry

    Terry Antiquities Friend Staff Alumni

    Hun pm me am here if you need an ear
  6. allofme

    allofme Staff Alumni

    hey i so understand... i have been there.. i think the root is that we care so little about ourselves that we are careless about who we let in .. we set outselves up for the let down.. cus we choose ppl we ..."in the back of our minds" know will fill the self defeating prophecy of beign hurt...

    i know of what i seak ... i am the queen of giving to ppl to only know how to take.. and if they are good i teach them how to not respect me .. because i dont think i deserve it...

    hugs... and i think the ... views... recorder is screewed up... dont believe it...
  7. Esmeralda

    Esmeralda Well-Known Member

    People will treat you how you let them treat you. For so many people, it is in their nature to take advantage of others, and if you let them, they will. If you refuse to take shit from anyone, then people will come into your life who actually care about you and will not take advantage. Once you realize that your worth has nothing to do with your perception of yourself, and everything to do with the intrinsic value of life compounded with what you as a person are willing to do to make that life worthwhile, then others will take your cue and see that value within you also. Feel better and hang on :)
  8. letdown

    letdown Guest

    I relate to this.

    Sometimes it's not that I am treated badly but that people will use me for however long they want (for entertainment, someone to talk to when they need it)) and then leave me when I need help.

    That's just how people are.

    I can't refuse to take shit from people who are okay at first because they've done nothing wrong. It's when they betray my trust without warning, that's what hurts.

    I do understand what you're saying peanut007, I have been in abusive relationships and it is a pattern I've fallen into. Which is probably what the my main topic was alluding to.

    Thank you all for your time in replying to me. I suppose part of me just wants to talk to someone and let things out. I am hanging in there but it's hard.
  9. Sadeyes

    Sadeyes Staff Alumni

    hi and I am with you on the views vs replies issue...never quite understood why ppl do not reply other than to consider their own issues with committing themselves in writing...about ppl treating others poorly...I think one issue is the responsiblity we have to ourselves to place in relationships our feelings and experiences...doing so in an honoring way, allows us to not feel 'used' and 'personalized'...I know how difficult this task is, as I had to work on it myself, but having a voice in this way, has brought me to a more connected, less angry place...please keep trying to connect, and like others have said, PM me too if I can share this with you...big hugs, Jackie
  10. letdown

    letdown Guest

    :hug: thank you Jackie. I see what you're saying. I think I've placed my feelings down on the ground and helping others way up on top. I haven't been around recently but I remember you. Take care xx
  11. Esmeralda

    Esmeralda Well-Known Member

    You don't have to be confrontational or anything when refusing to take crap from people. Just look at the relationship that you have with a person and weigh it. Are they getting more out of it than you are? Are you constantly listening to their problems when they couldn't care less about yours? Of course sometimes things in a relationship will be a bit unbalanced because of emotional needs, etc. But if you are constantly giving and giving with nothing in return, then just make yourself unavailable to that person (emotionally or otherwise). They soon begin to realize that relationships are a 2-way street and that they either need to start supporting you more, or you will simply be conveniently absent from their lives because of prior commitments. I finally had to cut a person out of my life entirely (one of my "best" friends) because she was so toxic, so I know what I'm talking about.
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