I am seriously thinking about taking my life. Just finished college and I have no idea what to do with my life. I have no interests, no hobbies, nothing gives me pleasure anymore and I keep thinking what is the point of all? We are all gonna die anyway so why bother? Everything including me feels worthless and so trivial. I cannot even stand daylight anymore.. I've lost many of my good friends and I'm usually too sad and whiny, so I stopped talking to the rest of them in order not to be a bother. I tried counseling, didn't work at all.. I would have give it another go but I have absolutely no money.. And I'm tired of fighting.. it's like an invisible monster that it's eating me inside out inch by inch.. I tried talking with my sister about it, she said the usual.. that she has problems too and she's not depressed. my mom didn't understand at all and instead keep shouting at me why am I so irascible.. I keep having dreams about killing myself.. how to do it without a mess and how to make it as long and as hurtful it can be.. in order to make the mental pain disappear.. in order to feel anything else besides this.. I don't understand, why me? why can't I be content with everything just like other normal people are? why can't I be enthusiastic about a job with fixed hours, a husband, kids and a house to clean? even when I think about it it makes me depressed.. I only know what I don't want.. not what I want.