I have a mock exam tomorrow as I have had in other subjects all week and I am too stressed so I'm just going to not go in and log it as "illness" I still haven't gotten any help so I have no, like, proof ? ... no legitimate reason I can present to my lecturer for mental health because no one knows and I would b to scared to use it as a reason anyway. I'm so fucking frustrated that I keep being lectured about not working hard enough etc etc when I CAN'T and I CAN'T explain why because I've been too scared to talk to anyone because I'm scared of my family thinking poorly of me. the fear of my family's' disapproval gives me such a claustrophobic feeling and it makes me hate myself that I can't just nut up and get help because I'm the only one who knows there's an issue (well, me and the internet I guess). I just, I can't tell my lecturer that I'm not going to be in because I'm so nervous I feel like I'm going to cry and throw up and I wont b able to do a test when I feel like that. plus someone else in my class has anxiety, but theirs is with panic attacks and while he's sympathetic to her - she gets help for hers and I'm scared he would think I've seen how she is allowed to get away with certain things so am lying to get the same allowances. just generally too scared for that shit so I'm going to stay home, I just have to find a way to explain to my mum why I didn't go in.