I cannot face it anymore

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#21
Hey Marti 2003 - sorry to see you in this pickle - but for the main part its just your interpretation of events influenced by depression.

We all 'view' the world according to how we feel.

This is why a beautiful sunset might actually make the viewer depressed, especially with cases of love gone wrong. Then the sunset might seem like a wasted opportunity - wasted because the sun is too far for you to throw ourself into its fiery gases and elements.

Thankfully time does heal the heart when it's broken via a romance. With love we get to thinking this one person we are with means everything. We 'invest' our lives into it sometimes - planning for a future which we'd like to happen. Alas - the path of love of does not always run smoothly - and with two people its always possible one or the other might fall out of love.

In time, you accept that losing someone is just an inevitability sometimes. If she does not love you - there is not a lot you can do to make it otherwise. If you have made you intent clear - been down on bended knee, all apologies and so on - if you do all that and she does not want you then you have to accept it.

Don't get me wrong - its not easy. But that said its a hell of a lot easier than isolating yourself and just getting maudlin over things. If you have made intentions clear as she gives a 'No Go' signal - best to start the process of coming to the conclusion that it would have gone wrong anyhow at some point.

You cannot jump into marriage or a serious relationship unless you jump in with both feet. Life being what it is - love is a matter of luck as much as anything. That said , if you want to find someone to love you have to get out into the world and do something.

Love is a bit like money on the pavement - you NEVER find money on the pavement if you go out looking for it. But as soon as you lose interest - then it happens - we spot that paper money, a £5 or £10 - I myself will even pick up a penny.

So if you go out looking for love - eyeing up every woman as a potential wife, you are likely to go home disappointed because your focusing everything on an area of life which is important - but by no means the most important part of it.

Sometimes a woman might hinder you - for example (far fetched) you are a scientist working on a cure for cancer - and she wants you at home more often. Or a gigging musician!

It is best to have other areas of life attended before leaping headlong into some affair of the heart. A home, living, various passions and interests.

The best relationships work when both partners have their own interests - of course it can work the other way around - but most people want time on their own - which is fair enough in my book.

Forget this woman - start the process of by making a determined effort - get rid of emails and so on - or any other reminders. Take her number off your phone.

As for failing job interviews - do not worry about it - live and learn. If you keep trying you will land something but in the meantime maybe look for any free courses - maybe do some voluntary work as you will do better at interviews due to you being in the working environment again.

Don't burn down the bridges - you might just want to go back to one day. You can be a recluse for a while if you have to but don't cut friends off or family. When you are feeling better at least you might know someone who will go for a pint or two.

Also - I've found jobs just knowing people - you can walk into a pub and 5 minutes later you have some offer of work - be it doing a garden or something more technical.

Good luck and maybe some meds may help also because anyone who thinks suicide is a good option is thinking under the influence of depression. Your judgement is impaired and so its never a good idea to follow though with any plans or get to the point you act in a rash manner and do something very dangerous.

Regards.
 
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