Hi Marti,
As you may already know, in essence, we are all human beings, we are all the same, regardless of our differences in appearances, social status, profession, experiences, etc, etc… Unconditional accept and love of yourself is the way to go before everything can go the way we truly want it to go and be…
Our thoughts could make us suffer. Maybe it’s time for you to question your thoughts.
Re your thoughts about your girl friend: “I cannot let her go. She is my everything, I love her so much…”
- do you really know your girl friend that well or do you just have an idea about her?
- your love to her - could it be just an idea of love to an idea of her?
1. Is it true “you cannot let her go“?
2. Can you absolutely know that it’s true?
3. How do you react, what happens, when you believe that thought?
4. Who would you be without the thought?
You can use the above four questions to question your other thoughts, too, such as "I'm such a loser", etc... You may be amazed what you may find out about your thoughts, what the thoughts are doing to you and how you can free yourself from these thoughts...
Here are some related video clips that you may find helpful:
Byron Katie: i need your love - is that true?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6je8hx7l160&feature=related
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-B3edPIRPSc&feature=related
Finding Kindness & Questioning Stressful Thoughts
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IeH85savvN4&feature=related
Maybe you can also appreciate the video clip below:
Your Thoughts Make You Suffer ~ Eckhart Tolle (who was once also suicidal…he says in the video “I have suffered enough. There is another way to live…” His book "The Power of Now" can be very helpful, too...)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5_eASmGTd00
Wish you well!