i cannot speak

Discussion in 'Mental Health Disorders' started by harrison, Nov 2, 2008.

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  1. harrison

    harrison Member

    its very hard for me to just start talking...to anyone, and especially my therapist. i feel bad for just sitting there in silence, and wasting her time, and my parent's money, but its just hard for me to speak. i know its weird...
    i have tried writing stuff for her, but im really too shy to actually give it to her...i don't know....
  2. CAD

    CAD Well-Known Member

    Interpretive dance.
  3. Jooper62

    Jooper62 Well-Known Member

    The first couple times i saw my therapist I couldn't speak either..but the more i went to her the more i talk..she understood i was very shy and quiet but was very patient with me. so hang in there ..You will get more comfortable with her as you go more..It will get easier in time but don't give up and beat yourself up over it.. You made the first step and that is a huge step ..
    Last edited by a moderator: Nov 2, 2008
  4. PeaceBlueFire

    PeaceBlueFire Well-Known Member

    Hi Harrison,

    All I can really say is keep trying. I know it's really hard right now but it will get easier with time. You have to find someone you can open up with, someone who won't grow impatient with the silence.

    Start with trusting them with something you deem important but yet at the same time something minor. See how they react and if it's a positive response try something else and keep going.

    I didn't open up to anyone about anything until I was 14 years old. Even when I did start opening up it was only with one person and only through writing. I met with this person often but they talked and I mostly listened.

    Please keep trying. It's not easy dealing with everything on your own.
    Erin :)
  5. snowraven

    snowraven Well-Known Member

    It can be hard talking to someone in person who is sitting right there with you. Try talking to people here on the forum. You have already made a start. The more you talk about however you are feeling the easier it will become. Maybe then you will be able to open up to your therapist as well. There are a lot of good listeners here and nobody is going to judge you. Best of luck .:smile:
  6. geolab101

    geolab101 Well-Known Member

    I had a hard time opening up to my therapist too. It gets better. It did for me.

    Maybe you could try to bring something up, like how you have some difficulty opening up and talking.

    I think that would be the best place to start from.

    I'm glad you're on this forum making an effort to help yourself.
  7. fromthatshow

    fromthatshow Staff Alumni SF Supporter

    My lips quiver every night with unspoken words. Somewhere along the line you lost your voice. I know how you feel.
    One thing is for certain. You are not wasting your therapists time. She is there to help you, and even if you went and sat in silence for 10 sessions and then left, it still would not have been a waste of time. They are there to support you. Sometimes I just sit and make eye contact with my therapist saying nothing. Just to feel that I am worth helping.
    After having spoken so little for so long, I'm not sure what's down there. Maybe anger. If you start to find your voice and you find all this anger don't be scared of that, just be glad that you're finding your voice. I know you will sooner or later. Posting here is a good first step, and take little steps with your therapist, because I'm sure they want to help you.
    If you ever feel like talking more feel free to send me a pm :hug:
    love, Spencer
  8. Stranger1

    Stranger1 Forum Buddy & Antiquities Friend

    Good Morning Harrison,
    I can only imagine how you feel. I have problems talking to my therapist. My thoughts get all mangled up together and then I get frustrated, she see's this so she talks and I listen! You need to learn to trust yourself before you can trust others. Your therapist is a good place to start, they have to take the same oath as a doctor about talking to people about your problems. Give it time and writing down your feelings is great. That is a step in the right direction, now you need to give them to your therapist so she/he can put to gethor a plan to help you!! Good luck!!~Joseph~
  9. music_junkie

    music_junkie Well-Known Member

    Hi Harrison. As you can see, this is a really common problem.

    What I've found is that it's easier if the wall is broken a bit. Do you have an ipod or music player of some type? Do you like music? I've taken to keeping the music on while I am trying to verbalize something particularly difficult or painful. It kind of creates a false sense of security and privacy, and allows me to verbalize things I would never be able to if it were just me and my therapist.

    Sometimes it's helpful to email, or write a letter. It's less intimidating then verbalizing it all at once.

    Also, though... A little bit of silence, a little bit of pause, is okay in therapy. The stuff you're dealing with is heavy, and it's natural to get overwhelmed. Silence is really important sometimes, to be able to collect your thoughts and retreat to a bit of privacy sometimes. It's actually a very useful therepeutic tool. I think it's wise of your therapist to not push you into talking... Take it slowly. This is hard.


    Hope this helps!
    Last edited by a moderator: Nov 21, 2008
  10. starry01

    starry01 Member

    I have similar problems. My body feels so heavy during therapy sessions that it's almost like I'm being held back from saying or expressing anything. It really is like having a huge weight against me. I've startd to get around this by writing stories, but any sort of writing is good. Somehow I find it a lot easier to express my feelings and be more honest in written words.

    You're definitely not alone x
  11. Oceans

    Oceans Well-Known Member

    I find it hard to talk as well but i can't sit in silence, so i get nervous and figet with whatever i have with me. Trust is really important and this takes time to develop so i hope you don't feel guilty, i know it is hard but it sounds like your parents want you go so if it means sitting in silence for awhile then that is okay. If your therapist is okay with it then they probably understand how hard it is come in and start speaking about the stuff going on for you.
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