It just kills me. He is a heroin user and many times in the past, he's gone into the bathroom, shot heroin, and lied to me about it. I end up finding certain things that are basically proof that he used. Needle caps, cotton balls, small baggies that previously contained heroin in the toilet, water bottles (he mixes water with heroin into a solution to shoot it), And he lies about it right to my face. The only way he would admit it is if I saw a needle stuck directly into his arm...and maybe not even then. Maybe he'd just say he was "Simulating doing it" or some ridiculous shit like that. All of those things that I mentioned above, the needle caps, water, baggie, etc., I found laying around and he denies that any of those things were for that purpose. The heroin bag just came up from the toilet from a previous time. The cotton ball he used on something else. The needle cap was old. The water bottle had been there since the last time he used even though I went into the bathroom before that and saw that it wasn't (he wants me to believe him over what I KNOW I SAW). And the little plastic container that he mixes the solution in was gone today and he says it's because he threw it out. Yeah, okay. This guy treats me like a total dumbass. I can't trust him to go into the bathroom to take a piss. I can't trust him to take a shower. I can't trust him to use his phone. I can't trust him to go out to his car. What the fuck kind of relationship is this?! I want us both to see a counselor so they can help us build some trust back, but it's so far gone that I feel like it'll never happen again. I thought I knew him. But the only thing I know is that he looks the exact same way when he lies as he does when he tells the truth. How can I tell the difference ever again? He even offered to take a drug test for me once when he knew deep down that he got high. And then when I said go ahead then, he said "Oh, I forgot, I take Suboxone too so that'll show up as an opiate". It's like yeah...you're full of shit dude. I am deathly scared to go to school tomorrow because I know that when I leave he might go buy heroin. I feel like I'm backed into a corner. Forced to live in fear. I know he's sick, but it's too much. He lies and lies and lies and it just doesn't stop. Except for my mother, I'll never be able to have a relationship of any kind with another human being ever again in which I can trust that person. He's screwed me that badly.