I Can't Accept Myself

Discussion in 'Help Me! I Need to Talk to Someone.' started by MiraWolf95, Oct 19, 2010.

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  1. MiraWolf95

    MiraWolf95 Account Closed

    I can't.. I just can't! Its impossible! I'm so scared of myself! I'm ashamed and embarrassed to have to even show my face in public. People just say "well its your fault you don't take care of yourself". Oh my gosh.. I buy expensive clothes, work for ages on my hair (always fails though), try to watch what I eat, and I'm constantly buying acne treatments hoping they will work but they never do. I feel like the past 2 years has been me doing nothing but wasting money and standing in front of a mirror just to get the same hate comments each day! I'm thinking about just giving up.. I'm tired of wasting money, but in todays society if I don't try to look decent, I fail. I'm really sick of it. I feel like throwing up each time I'm around people cause I hate that they have to see my tall obese and ugly acne self. I try most times to stay away from most people the best way I can. I don't want my life being wasted away trying to be beautiful when thats clearly impossible after 2 years of attempting. Gosh... I'm a crybaby and an ugly duckling surrounded by beautiful swans. I feel bad for disturbing everyone, but I can't take it.. Is anybody like me or has ever been like me? Or am I alone. Its getting harder to live with being myself each day.. :cry:
     
  2. Sadeyes

    Sadeyes Staff Alumni

    Hi and no you are not alone...it is so difficult to feel so bad about how you look...have you spoken to a MD about your skin issues? there are so many effective treatmenst now...please see what can be done...and I think what you are feeling is both valid and more common than you know...J
     
  3. MiraWolf95

    MiraWolf95 Account Closed

    I haven't, my mother doesn't like taking me to doctors often. She just tells me "My skin did the same way at your age, nothing ever worked on me but I dealed with it".
     
  4. No_Life

    No_Life Well-Known Member

    i had the same comments every day at school right from the beginning until i left, people were disgusted to touch me to the point where people would bunk classes to avoid sitting next to me, so i know how you feel. it gets easier eventually, and you can still do well in life nomatter what you look like, its just not as easy to face yourself and people every day.
     
  5. MiraWolf95

    MiraWolf95 Account Closed

    Thats how people at school have always been towards me. I've seen people argue and storm out of the classroom before, being so outraged to be beside me. Perhaps its a good thing that I'm leaving public school in December to be home schooled.. Its my choice to as well as my mother's. I feel worse in school. Always have since 1st grade. I do get treated badly in town from time to time also though. Once I had a job holding an advertising sign on the side of the road for a hair place my freshman year, people would give me the finger, make faces at me, shout at me and throw stuff at me. It sucked -_-
     
  6. Sadeyes

    Sadeyes Staff Alumni

    Then tell your mother that she should understand the discomfort and take you
     
  7. MiraWolf95

    MiraWolf95 Account Closed

    I've tried loads of times but she just calls me a crybaby. Perhaps one day she will understand.
    My weight bothers me more than my acne anyways.. :l
     
  8. No_Life

    No_Life Well-Known Member

    how old are you? you should be able to go to a doctor and get advice without your parents permission. 99% of people i know are bothered by their weight, the only real solution is exercise and a healthy diet but its not always easy, i have the opposite problem being male and pathetically weak and thin and unable to put any weight on :/
     
  9. MiraWolf95

    MiraWolf95 Account Closed

    I'm 15 years old.
    I've been on one diet before but It failed miserably. I plan on starting back my diet in December since thats when my mother wants to also go on hers. I wont be alone and I'd have more support so this one wont fail. I use to be underweight and barely able to gain weight in the past back when I was 4-7 years old.
     
  10. No_Life

    No_Life Well-Known Member

    aah, im not sure. you could phone up/go in and ask in the practice? thats a good idea, its easier if you can have someone to go through it with you. im sure you will look great by then end :)
     
  11. MiraWolf95

    MiraWolf95 Account Closed

    I don't like seeing or talking to any kind of doctors lol I'm stubborn. Hopefully I will look alright in the end. Right now most of everyone says I look like a glasses'less version of Meg Griffin from Family Guy.
     
  12. may71

    may71 Well-Known Member

    if people are being hostile to you because of the way you look, or really for any reason if you are not intending them any harm, they are just showing their own inner ugliness. giving a 15 year old the finger or throwing things at her is just disgraceful. i think that these are just people who want to hurt other people. it's really low.


    hey and besides, I think Meg Griffin is cute!
     
  13. MiraWolf95

    MiraWolf95 Account Closed

    Yeah it is low. Some people I have to agree are just plain evil and never satisfied, therefore they take their shame out on others to make them feel as miserable. I don't know why I don't think about that theory more often.
    & Cool :eek:, most people say Meg is ugly so I get offended when they say that then tell me I look so much like her minutes later. Only thing though is I'm tall (5'7) and I don't wear glasses.
     
  14. nolonger

    nolonger Well-Known Member

    I have bad skin...it fucking sucks. It started smack bang on my 11th birthday, and I tend to say that's the day I died. :laugh:. The shit thing is, is that you try various different skin treatments and they end up not working. Then you just give up(well that's what I've done atleast).

    So I've spent all this money on treatments, and one day I'll have to spend a fuckload of money getting lazer re-surfacing. :dry:

    And it's stupid when people bring others down. There's this one guy at school that seems to keep saying I'm a failure and I suck at half the shit I do. 95% of the time I feel the need to cut his eyes out and skin him alive.....hmmm......:unsure:, lol.
     
  15. MiraWolf95

    MiraWolf95 Account Closed

    Same here pretty much. I've always had problems with my skin. I give up stressing about it, cause stressing about it probably causes them in the first place. Somebody tells me I don't take good care of myself, they don't know half my story.
    & I also hate people that bring others down. Many people tell me what that guy said and it aggravates me. Nowadays I get very sarcastic when people say stuff like that and that ticks them off. :laugh:
     
  16. may71

    may71 Well-Known Member

    usually girls stop growing sooner than guys, so 5'7 isn't that tall for an adult. besides that, lots of guys like tall girls.
     
  17. MiraWolf95

    MiraWolf95 Account Closed

    Around here it seems like everyone loves 5'5 girls or shorter so I get kinda jealous that I can't be short sometimes. Doctors predicated that I'd be 5'11 like both my parents were or possibly 6'0. I hope not.
     
  18. may71

    may71 Well-Known Member

    trust me, there's lot's of guys who like tall women.
     
  19. MiraWolf95

    MiraWolf95 Account Closed

    I know, I once dated a guy that was 5'1 while I was still 5'7.
    Everybody made jokes about me but he did love me with all of his heart.. well at the time at least.
     
  20. foreverforgotten

    foreverforgotten Well-Known Member

    im not sure...and you should ask your doctor about it..
    but i take birth control..because it helps me with my period..
    and i dont get a single ;pimple now ..and i had it very baddd...
    and birth control pill does say on the packet ..that it clears your skin..
    other than that..i relate to you ^---^ your not alone :3
    atleast on here im sure there are many who can relate to both of us..
    the more i try to "fix" myself for others..the more i seem to have panic attakcs
    and want to die..so..do things for yourself and not others. if
    you want to talk im here alot..because i ahve no life D:
    so feel free to send me a pm ^^

    oh and models are tall..tall people are pretty
    and even if your overweight..as am I..
    atleast its something that can be changeable :3
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Oct 23, 2010
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