i can't be alive anymore.

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by littlestar, Jan 12, 2009.

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  1. littlestar

    littlestar Guest

    i'm just sitting here rotting away like the worthless piece of trash i've always been. i can't stop the flashbacks. i try so hard to be a good girl but i just keep messing up. :( my ex claims to still love me but he goes and sleeps with other girls. :( i know we are broken up and he is not obligated to me but it hurts so fucking much i can't breathe. i just want to make it go away! :(
  2. littlestar

    littlestar Guest

    i want to get drunk but i can't even afford a bottle of cheap red wine, that's how much of a failure i am tonight.
  3. tendenCs_89

    tendenCs_89 Well-Known Member

    why are you feeling like this?
    flashbacks of what? were you sexually assaulted?
    about the ex, i know what you mean, it can be so difficult. Does he know you feel this way? I understand that moving on can seem like a ridiculous concept to you at the moment but i guess you have to go into the mindset that if he says he loves you then sleeps with other girls, he isnt worth it and you could find someone much better :hug:

    pm me if you need to talk
  4. Dave_N

    Dave_N Guest

    Hi little star and welcome to SF. :welcome: I'm sorry that you're feeling so down. Maybe it's time to move on and find another boyfriend? Breaking up is always hard. :hug:
  5. littlestar

    littlestar Guest

    thanks for the replies.

    yeah, i was raped when i was a child and then again two months ago.

    i want to die, i have paracetamol but i only have 16 that's not enough. :(
  6. annie-crafts

    annie-crafts Well-Known Member

    I've been sexually abused and have bi-polar. it's so hard to get thru, especially the flashbacks. try to stay grounded in something to keep you in the present moment and remember that what happened in the past is no longer, all that exists now is this moment.
  7. Stranger1

    Stranger1 Forum Buddy & Antiquities Friend

    Hey Littlestar,
    Welcome to the forum!!
    I know it's hard to deal with right now but you are still greiving your loss. In time you will get past this. You know what it is his loss!! Don't take him back if he comes crawling because once they cheat they will do it again.
    Your not a failure you are just heart broken right now. My exfiance did the same to me and I lied in bed at night crying for about two months and she started coming around wanting to get back together. I thought it over for about two minutes and told her OH HELL NO!!! after that I was fine I had finally opened my eyes that there is a whole world out there. You will feel better eventually so just hang in there!!~Joseph~
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