I'm a seventeen year old boy. I was sixteen when this happened six or seven weeks ago. I'm heavily into BDSM and suffer from depression as well as OCD. BDSM is a sexual fetish that involves being bossed around, or bossing people around, whips, et cetera. Domination. I like to be dominated. So I go on this site and lie about my age, because I'm so lonely, and do stuff for dominatrices on webcam. Yeah, and I know nothing about them. I just do it because I'm depressed. I stopped doing it so often, though, after this. This one dominatrix told me to go get a pair of my mother's underwear and put them in my mouth. For some reason I didn't think this was a big deal. I didn't really want to do it, but I was like "Screw it I'm going to do it anyway." My mom was in her room, so instead of getting hers I went into my older sister's room and took hers. Then I put them in my mouth. It was almost like a self-destructive act. Anyway, I can't go back in time. I have no effing idea why I did this, but now I want to die. I've struggled through the past few months.