About a year ago after my boyfriend broke up with me, I turned into party mode and did a lot of drugs. Mainly at parties. I'm so fucking upset that I went to my friends house and went on a drug binge to try to hide how I was feeling and I feel like I can't fucking keep doing this. Celebrities die and drug users die from this shit. I let down myself, my friends, and people who thought I would stay clean and make the most of my life. I'm clueless about what to do, this isn't something I can sleep off. If my ex asked me out suddenly I wouldn't hesitate to say yes. Why? Why fucking let this affect me so much? March 25th is just another day for him but for me a day of grieving. I hate having to rely on drugs to make me happy.