i cant believe i did this.

Discussion in 'Help Me! I Need to Talk to Someone.' started by houseofcards, Mar 24, 2012.

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  1. houseofcards

    houseofcards Well-Known Member

    About a year ago after my boyfriend broke up with me, I turned into party mode and did a lot of drugs. Mainly at parties. I'm so fucking upset that I went to my friends house and went on a drug binge to try to hide how I was feeling and I feel like I can't fucking keep doing this. Celebrities die and drug users die from this shit. I let down myself, my friends, and people who thought I would stay clean and make the most of my life. I'm clueless about what to do, this isn't something I can sleep off. If my ex asked me out suddenly I wouldn't hesitate to say yes. Why? Why fucking let this affect me so much? March 25th is just another day for him but for me a day of grieving. I hate having to rely on drugs to make me happy.
  2. jeg

    jeg Member

    I don't know if this would apply to you like it does me, but when I look at myself and see that I have yet to take anything mood altering that day, and I'm still alright, it makes me feel kinda proud at the idea that I didn't need it. That's my natural happiness.
  3. pppqp

    pppqp Well-Known Member

    hun, first of all, please stay clean for your own sake!
    be strong. love yourself. and extend your kindness to other people in need whenever you can (but i'm sure you already have a kind heart :smile:)
    this maybe just another cliche, but eventually time will heal.
    it's one of my favorite quotes. idk if it can help you at the moment but pls just be aware of this fact “Time heals griefs and quarrels, for we change and are no longer the same persons.”
    take care of yourself
    *my gentle hugs* :hug:
  4. youRprecious!

    youRprecious! Antiquities Friend

    I would 2nd all of this post - having found it to be so true. Generally speaking, guys don't feel the same way about relationships - I know it is unfair that girls are born to care and nurture and to love more - we therefore hope and expect more, and consequently get disappointed more and it hurts more. So for your own sake you must nurture your own heart to be the kind that nurtures and loves YOU rather than wasting your heart with all its resources on a bounder who doesn't care.

    Movie-type endings only happen in the movies, and in real life only the stories that can be made into movies tend to heighten our expectations (ie. The Sound of Music) - but then (if you're not too young to have never seen it :smile:) I reckon part (if not all) of the reason the ex Navy Captain fell in love with the ex-Nun, was that she was so full of self-sacrificing love and goodness - however corny/impossible that sounds - that she became something of a challenge and curiosity to him. (Hope I'm making some sense here).
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