I can't believe I want to die

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by kpmth3, May 6, 2008.

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  1. kpmth3

    kpmth3 Member

    I thought I was somewhat stable, at least in that I would seriously not want to die. But, I have had thoughts of driving and just swerving the steering wheel into oncoming traffic.

    I am going to graduate in a year, and I literally have no idea what I want to do. But I have ideas on what I Don't want to do, but that crosses out almost every job, if not all! I don't know what my problem is, but it is so hard to go out there and do something. I want to do things, but then when I am about to do something, I want to quit. I am really scared, and I don't know anymore. I just don't know.
  2. dazzle11215

    dazzle11215 Staff Alumni

    leaving school can bring on alot of stress, perhaps that has triggered these suicidal feelings in you? best thing is to have a talk with your doctor or someone at the health clinic. there is no shame in feeling suicidal, although of course it's a very difficult conversation to have. if you can share how low you are feeling, and how scared you are, the the doc can refer you to some other supports that will help you to feel less like killing yourself.
  3. noplacetogo

    noplacetogo Well-Known Member

    After I finished school I felt like killing myself too...well, before too:S It is very stressful to go from that somewhat safe environment to suddenly having to get out there and make something of yourself. You are probably feeling like people are expecting a lot of you. Like they think you can just finish school and suddenly be a full functioning adult with a great career. I went into a field of study that doesn't get me much of anywhere and most every "adult" career feels like hell to me too. Have you tried to look into career fields that offer things you'd enjoy doing? It probably seems like most jobs after school are button down office ones, but there really are choices. those choices just might take a lot more effort on your part.
  4. nolove89

    nolove89 Active Member

    Just to let you know. Having a Car accident is the Worst way to go unless your on a 2 Lane High Way going about 90 mph. I know 2 people that are paralyzed form the neck down and 1 that was almost burned alive her car Blew up, Last one had severe brain damage and was never going to be normal again.
    So if your planning on that GO FAST REAL FAST.

    I know what I'm saying is wrong, but I'd rather you die than be Fucked the rest of your life.
  5. Random

    Random Well-Known Member

    If it's any consolation at all, I know how you feel.

    But I have a feeling I'm somewhat older than you. It's been a long time since I graduated from anything.

    I have a thing that I like to say sometimes. I think I made it up but I doubt I'm the only one who's ever said it. And that is that I'm too young to be thinking about death and too old to be thinking about life.

    What does that mean? I did nothing with my youth when I had it. In truth, I felt much the same as you do now. I didn't want to do anything, really. Never have. But somehow, I wish I'd just tried. Something. Anything.

    Now lots of time has passed and I haven't done anything. I kept waiting around for something to happen. To give me some clue which way I should go but it never did.

    And now I realize that most people probably just ignore all their doubts and fears and make something happen (or try). I don't know how they do it. Personally, I can't ignore reality. But if you can, you should at least try. Things won't get any easier as you get older.
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