So I thought that all of this suicidal stuff was behind me. But no. I got a call from work yesterday telling me that I am going to be retrenched. All of the old thoughts came flooding back. All of the ideas about how and when and why it would be better for everyone if I just wasnt here anymore. I didnt sleep last night at all. Im flat out buggered. Everytime I try and close my eyes the thoughts creep back. I just wish everything would stop. I prayed and prayed for God to just kill me. But of course thats no good. Im in pain. Shaking. Tired. What should I do?