i cant believe im posting this

Discussion in 'Rape and Abuse' started by xzxw, Jul 4, 2010.

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  1. xzxw

    xzxw Member

    I was in 4th grade. walking to a beach not half a mile from my home. 5 minute walk. i dont remember what happened veery well. i remember being in a tent or something. he was on top of me. :cry: i cant say anymore...

    im 17 now. 18 at the end of this month. it bothers me asmuch as it did then. its the reason myy friendshate me. i told one friend that it happened...i trusted her.but the next day everyone knew. i became atleast to them, a gay *****...:cry:
  2. plates

    plates Well-Known Member

    that was really really brave to share.

    what happened wasn't your fault.

    if they were good friends- they would not hate you for being violated like that and they weren't, so they are the lowlifes not you.
  3. xzxw

    xzxw Member

    I know itsnot my fault. intelectually i've always known that. but emotionally ive always blamed myself for not screaming or fighting.
  4. nolonger

    nolonger Well-Known Member

    It must be traumatic. At the age of 8 or so to go through such an event. Your friends sound like fuck heads. I'm pretty sure they wouldn't be treating you this way if they went through what you did.

    I hope at some point in your life you get some closure(can't spell the best :laugh:). Just curious, what happend to the person that did this to you? Just keep in mind you don't have to answer that if you don't want to! :)

    Take care.
  5. xzxw

    xzxw Member

    He's still out somewhere
  6. Viro

    Viro Well-Known Member

    Even if you had screamed or fought, you wouldn't have been able to stop him. He knew what he was doing was wrong. It's his fault, not yours.
  7. mcviking

    mcviking Well-Known Member

    I was sexually assaulted by a stranger at a young age too. I know how you feel. I also never told anyone until many years later. I have lost friends over it too. Fuck these so called friends. You are a survivor. Don't let that one horrible experience define who you are. You are beautiful and special. You are a great person. You are stronger than any of them. What you went through kills lesser men. Remember that. You can't change the past. You can't get it back. But you can find peace and acceptance, but only you can do that. Find good people, they are out there. Get you revenge by living.

    Don't let that monster take everything from you. My monster took the best years of my life, he took my childhood, my will to live, my soul. But I got it back by getting help. By accepting that it wasn't my fault. Stay away from drugs or alcohol, it can sometimes make things a whole lot worse. Please talk to someone, a professional about what happened. I know it hurts and I know there will be flash backs. I am not going to lie to you it will not be easy. You will never forget, but you will be able to live with yourself if you fight! Please I am begging you FIGHT!
  8. Daphna

    Daphna Well-Known Member

    My heart goes out to you! It is not your fault that people choose to do horrible things to children. I can only imagine the humiliation and the betrayal you have felt by the actions of your one, "friend." But I must remind you that at that age kids are well...cruel. I bet if you talked to them now they would not feel the same and if they do, you deserve better friends. I am here if you need to talk. Blessings..
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