Possible triggers to follow................................................. I am trying really hard to keep myself from going into a full panic attack. I have done so well for many years to overcome my fear of storms but tonight it is freaking me out. My mind keeps going back to my childhood years when my "parents" would lock me out of the house on the front porch during storms because "God" was going to punish me for being a bad girl. I know that is not true but it was used to hurt me and tonight it is hurting again. I am finding myself wanted to self harm because I am a bad person. Why do I say I am a bad person? Because that is what has been pounded into my head so many times. Being alone in this house is not helping the situation any. There is no one to keep my mind busy, the kids are at friends houses, the husband is gone, the animals are all sleeping and I can't keep my mind off the storm enough to be in the chat room and there is nothing on tv to take my mind off all this. My mind keeps going to I am a bad person and I need to punish myself in some form or another. I do not know how much longer I can fight the thoughts, feelings and urges. Not only am I a bad person, I'm also a failure. :boom: Yep, I feel as if I am about to explode and hope that I do not hurt anyone in the process.