I can't believe there is anything left.

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by Mask The Pain, Nov 16, 2010.

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  1. Mask The Pain

    Mask The Pain Member

    There is nothing, absolutely nothing left for me. Life has lost its meaning. I just want it to end. The guy I'm in love with is the only reason I've lasted this long. But he's talking to me less and less. I mean very little to him. I just want peace. But that's never going to happen until I die. I... have nothing left. Nothing is right anymore. I don't know how much longer I can pretend like this. I put on a happy face for everyone around me, but it's cracking and no one sees it. I'm dying inside and soon my outside is going reflect that. I just want to talk to someone who isn't going to tell me that I'm over reacting or that I'm being dramatic. And it's not going to happen. No one cares about me like that. I have nothing left to live for so what's the point?
  2. IV2010

    IV2010 Well-Known Member

    we care about you here and you can talk about what's bothering you anytime...
    was there something that brought this on? how long have you felt this way?
  3. Sadeyes

    Sadeyes Staff Alumni

    There are ppl here who truly understand that duality...in fact, many of us live it everyday...please continue to tell us what is going on for you...we will listen...big hugs, J
  4. Mask The Pain

    Mask The Pain Member

    No. That's the thing that really scares me. I was having a really good night and all of a sudden this all just hit me. And I realized I'm worthless and that I have nothing left to offer the world.

    I've been feeling this way for quite some time. I've had suicidal feelings on and off for over a year. They went away when I started therapy, but they've been coming back with a vengance.

    I feel like I have no way of getting through this yet again. My patience with myself has worn out. I can't wait to change any more. I need to change now. But I know change takes time. But I don't have the patience to wait. I'm just done.
  5. In Limbo

    In Limbo Forum Buddy

    Are you still having therapy to help with the suicidal feelings? Just because change takes time does not mean you have to wait for it.

    You can do all kinds of little things to help yourself feel better in the meantime, be that hobbies, work, voluntary work, friends, family, socialising - whatever it be.
  6. Mask The Pain

    Mask The Pain Member

    I am still in therapy for these feelings, but it's not working anymore. and all the hobbies I had have lost their meaning to me. All I ever do is go to school and sit and think. I've been shutting myself off from my friends and I don't want to impose on them in the state of mind I'm in. I'm already known as the buzzkill to begin with. I think I've been shutting my friends out because I nkow what's coming and if they think less of me, they'll miss me less. I don't want to hurt anyone by doing this. I just want people to know that this isn't their fault. The tumult inside my head is too much to deal with.
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