I can't believe this is happening to me

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by Sad Rabbit, Oct 23, 2009.

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  1. Sad Rabbit

    Sad Rabbit Account Closed

    It has taken me about ten years to rid myself of something which has dragged me through the emotional gutter - to the point of not wanting to live anymore. I came very, very close.

    By some miracle, I managed to see it off last week and thus began a new chapter in my life. But now it seems home life has taken its place. I now have a very serious domestic issue spring up and despite being on an emotional high, I've triggered.

    I am now sitting here with tears welling up thinking of how I can end my life. I sit staring at old pictures of my mother who passed away earlier in the year and how she is no longer in pain and wishing I was the same. Why has my life suddenly imploded on me?

    I don't want to be here anymore..

  2. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    Perhaps the tears will help rid you of the pain you are in
    Let them flow cry yell just let it all come to a top then you will gradually find calm release.
    Your mom is at peace yes but she would want you to fight on to be happy
    Can you phone your therapist a friend someone to talk to a real voice does help
    I hope if it gets too overwhelming you will call crisis or hospital because these feelings are only short stay the will go away
    Keep talking okay we are here tomorrow may be a little easier
  3. Chargette

    Chargette Well-Known Member

    Were the other people at home affected by what you were dealing with for a long time? If so, they may be letting go some pent up stuff. That happened with me. I was horrified. I experienced a solution only to have another problem pop up. I couldn't take it and I imploded too. Are you responsible for dealing with this new problem or is it the responsibility of another? In other words, if you can you pass on taking responsibility for it, it will give you some relief.

    Keep posting, we'll walk with you through this.

  4. morfea

    morfea Antiquities Friend

    I have the experience of these thoughts and pain, actual physical pain, coming and going, sometimes they last for a few hours, sometimes for days and weeks. But they always go away eventually. It will pass, and I hope you won't find it presumptious of me to say that I know how you feel, that it is unbearable feeling of pain which you just want to go away and nothing else is important. I do hope you keep in mind that it will go away, that life is worthy. Call someone, talk to someone, get a book, put a CD or a DVD, go out or write here, don't leave us. I hope that you'll start feeling a little bit better if you try one of these things.
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