I can't carry on

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by Witty_Sarcasm, Apr 27, 2016.

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  1. Witty_Sarcasm

    Witty_Sarcasm Writer, Musician, Fun Lover, Magic Maker

    Things build up over decades until they become unbearable. I feel like I no longer have a heart. I am not mean, I am just cold and numb inside. I don't see a point to this. I am just existing, not living, and none of it is pleasant. I can't take this anymore.
     
  2. Rockclimbinggirl

    Rockclimbinggirl SF climber Staff Member Safety & Support

    *hugs* What about writing everything out?
     
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  3. lifetalkz

    lifetalkz Well-Known Member

    Things do build up over decades of time if you hold onto them and refuse to let go. You have seen a lot of ugliness in your life and it has made an indelible impression upon you. I have seen a lot of ugliness, too-I too have spent years wandering around on this planet wondering what is the fucking point of living through so much suffering? I can tell you-having spent almost two decades living a totally different sort of a life, that tremendous healing is possible when you are willing to admit that you might be wrong about some things.

    That's all you have to do-be willing to admit that you might have been wrong about somethings that were vital. You have to be willing to consider that there might have been something critical that you've missed all these years. I believe that there was something that you missed-it's an easy thing to miss because it is so obvious. YOU. I believe that the point of living your life is getting to know yourself intimately and learning how to respond to yourself with an enormous amount of compassion.

    The vital fact about life that you have missed all these years is that YOU are all that matters in your life. Your opinion is all that matters-your feelings are all that matter. I don't believe that you really hate yourself-I believe that you have learned to see yourself the way that other people have seen you. I challenge you to be brave enough to see yourself through totally different eyes-and anyone else who has a negative opinion of you can go straight to hell. I know you as I know myself and I don't believe that there is no point to living your life. Live your life as you see fit and be proud of who you are-no one knows better than you do that you have earned it.
     
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  4. Brian777

    Brian777 Safety and Support Forum Pro SF Supporter

    It does get discouraging Witty, I think the thing with us(depressed) is we think too much, at least I do. I question motives others and mine. "Normal" people just seem to accept things and go with the flow, I envy them, I wish I were happy like they are :) Actually Rocky that's a good idea, have you tried journaling? It does seem to put things in perspective, I did it for awhile, strange thing when I read it months/years later......I wondered " what the hell was that all about?" .......I had some strange ideas/thoughts. Might be worth a try. Anyway, I hope you feel better my friend, hang in there. I've been down for the last 4days I know how you feel. ((Hugs)) to both of you.
    Brian
     
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  5. Witty_Sarcasm

    Witty_Sarcasm Writer, Musician, Fun Lover, Magic Maker

    It does help to do that most of the time, sometimes though I can get really overwhelmed and not see anything good in my life. I have to try and work past those feelings.
     
  6. Witty_Sarcasm

    Witty_Sarcasm Writer, Musician, Fun Lover, Magic Maker

    You are right, I need to let go of the negativ
    You are right, I need to try and let go of the negative and move forward in my life. It shouldn't matter how others see me, it only really matters how I see myself. I need to keep that in mind and try and get out of this black hole I am in.
     
  7. Witty_Sarcasm

    Witty_Sarcasm Writer, Musician, Fun Lover, Magic Maker

    I only really journal on here, and I don't even do that too much anymore. I guess that it something I can try. I need to not let things get to me as much.
     
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  8. ThePhantomLady

    ThePhantomLady Safety and Support SF Supporter

    I am so sorry you are hurting, Witty *hugs*

    Have you tried DBT or CBT therapy? Maybe you need some better coping mechanisms to handle these things?
    Please do be kind to yourself!
     
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  9. Witty_Sarcasm

    Witty_Sarcasm Writer, Musician, Fun Lover, Magic Maker

    No, I haven't tried anything like that before. But I need to do something soon because I can't deal with this anymore.
     
  10. ThePhantomLady

    ThePhantomLady Safety and Support SF Supporter

    Please give it a try, DBT (I don't know much about CBT) is based on helping you gain and learn coping mechanisms and how to handle triggers and negative thought patterns. I think you could benefit from that
     
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  11. Witty_Sarcasm

    Witty_Sarcasm Writer, Musician, Fun Lover, Magic Maker

    Yeah, that sounds like something that could help me. I usually just get discouraged and don't want to do much. I feel like a failure because I don't try hard enough. I just don't want to sail through life any longer.
     
  12. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Alumni SF Supporter

    ((hugs)) Hoping you are having a better day today. Try exercising, cold showers, writing to take your mind off things. You CAN carry on. You ARE a good person and you WILL get through this. Try and remain positive hun x
     
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  13. jxdama

    jxdama Staff Member Safety & Support

    you MUST endure!!
     
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  14. Witty_Sarcasm

    Witty_Sarcasm Writer, Musician, Fun Lover, Magic Maker

    I am doing ok, still a bit stressed. I will try to keep my mind occupied, thank you :)
     
  15. Witty_Sarcasm

    Witty_Sarcasm Writer, Musician, Fun Lover, Magic Maker

    Thanks, I will try to keep doing the best I can and get through whatever comes my way.
     
  16. marie1216

    marie1216 New Member

    Hi , Not sure what is putting you on edge but dont give in because you matter in this life. God cares for you and others do to .
     
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  17. Witty_Sarcasm

    Witty_Sarcasm Writer, Musician, Fun Lover, Magic Maker

    Thank you, I appreciate your kind words :)
     
  18. MoAnamCara

    MoAnamCara SF Artist

    Just virtual hugs.
     
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  19. Witty_Sarcasm

    Witty_Sarcasm Writer, Musician, Fun Lover, Magic Maker

    Thank you, sending some hugs back to you :)
     
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