I am a 17 year old male from Morocco. I'm in my final highschool year.I have been diagnosed by many therapists as a sociopath. I have attempted to commit suicide more than once. My first time was when I was ten years old and it wasn't because of depression. Many people tried to "help" me or sympathize with me. I've heard it hundreds of times : "You matter to me....I care....I love you....you are not worthless" .... But like I said, it doesn't cause the expected reaction inside my brain. I tried suicide at only ten years old because I had felt that my life was meaningless and my efforts are futile. Now many great thinkers suggest to accept that fate and live our life to the fullest and be our own gods, but there comes the problem : I have nothing worth experiencing. I have tried following my wishes and impulses from becoming an artist to intentionally trying to <mod edit - methods>, to killing, and I've found them all boring. I have only killed animals though. You can shame me all you want for doing it, but my therapists would advise you to save your breath. But rest assured, i won't kill again or stand on the verge of death : it's boring. How can I free myself from the toxic corporate slave lifestyle that awaits me if i have nothing to strive for? School has killed my imagination, depression has impraired my creativity, and my parents refused to get me any sort of help, and called my depression and suicidal thoughts "a form of procrastination" and told me to "shake it off" and get back in the matrix. (by the way i sought help behind their backs) If I was normal i wouldve already freed myself. I wouldve been a writer or a youtuber or a videogame artist. But that doesn't generate enough "happy" juices in my brain. I think that there's nothing left to think about. It's simple logic : I am one of the rare people who aren't destined to like anything. But I don't think that i want to die just yet because i came here. But i can debate myself into it easily, emotions don't affect my judgement.