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I can't deal with it anymore.. I searched for help, but haven't got it

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by Lonelyinfamily, Feb 10, 2012.

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  1. Lonelyinfamily

    Lonelyinfamily New Member

    Hi everyone..
    My whole adult life I've been cheated on.
    My daughters father made some big mistakes. When I left him, was my mother standin' on his side.
    That hurt me so bad that I can't melt down it even three years after that.
    The separation was extreamly painful.
    The boyfriend after that had an another girlfriend..
    And the boyfriend after that, who's the boyfriend I have now beat me up when he was drunk once..
    I'm not worth an apologize.
    But when I hear the words "love you".. I think I can take it all..

    But now even my daughter hates me.. She's yellin at me, and I'm yellin at her..
    If I'm truthful I must say.. I can't stand the fact, that I'm her mother.. She deserves someone who can take care of her even with the motherloving feelings, I'd try to hug her, but something is stopping me..
    my mother didn't hug me when I was little.. not often.

    When I read that some mothers just disappear.. not found by one.. I envy them.
    I want to disappear.
    I don't beat my child.. but sometimes when she's yellin at me, I'm close to do it.
    She is six years old.. the most beautiful girl in the world.. I don't deserve to have such a beautiful healthy child.

    I'd tried to get help.. psychologicy help.. But the therapeut ment that I don't need help.
    She just showed me how to breath when everything's overwelmning..

    I'm living in sweeden
  2. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    You go back and tell them you do need therapy you need family therapy to teach you how to respond to your daughter when she is lashing out at you You need therapy to help you heal from the abandonment issues you are carring If you go to a church the religous person there can give councilling as well they are trained I am sorry the professional people are not hearing your cries for help hun go back and make them hear ok
  3. Lonelyinfamily

    Lonelyinfamily New Member

    a religious person maybe... I'll try once again
  4. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    also hun if there is a unversity near you the newly graduation psych students will take you on as a client for next to nothing or the third year students They will be good hun as they will be eager to help you hugs
  5. 1Lefty

    1Lefty Well-Known Member

    great solutions, you may have to be your own advocate, and make an effort to work your way to the right person.

    Don't give up, we care, and you can vent here without criticism or judgment.There are a lot of us who have experienced much of what you have.

    No one deserves to be beaten, whether the abuser is drunk or not.
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