So, I'm contemplating suicide. I'm not even on the extreme idealizations as usual. I'm just thinking of taking every pill that I can find to swallow and going to sleep. I feel even worse for feeling this way because I could be in a worse situation than the one that I am in, and it's the most selfish thing that I could do. I am sixteen and I have tried suicide numerous times. I tried for the first time at about age four when I ran out in front of a bus. The last time I tried was in May. I took an overdose, but it only made me black out a few times before I ended up in a psychiatric hospital. At that point, I took two overdoses in the course of three days, but I do not remember all that I took. I had tried about two or three months prior to that, too. I turned sixteen in July. Before those two incidents, I got drunk and took a huge overdose on sleeping pills and anti-psychotic medication on my fourteenth birthday. I ended up blacking out in a fetal position near a toilet and I eventually woke up, dazed and confused. I'm torn between taking another overdose, jumping off of the bridge, and just going to sleep. I wish I could wake up tomorrow and have my entire life be a dream.