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I can't do it anymore

#1
Hi, I am a single father raising 2 girls alone. One of my children has severe cerebral palsy. My wife has just left me, we were married for about a year. We both have children that we brought into the marriage, and I was never able to be the step father to her children that she wanted. I wasn't strong enough for her. I ended up pushing her away with all my mistakes and weaknesses. I was too needy. I've wanted a best friend to spend my life with. I don't think I'll ever have that again. I don't have time to meet people or have relationships with trying to juggle work and take care of the kids. I am alone this weekend because I can no longer lift my special needs daughter. The only thing that stops me from taking my life is that I don't know what would happen to my children. I can't sleep and can barely keep the concentration to perform my job and be a father. I've gone through counseling and take medication, but I haven't seen any improvement.

I just feel so alone. My situation makes it so difficult to have a support group. I don't know what to do.

Thanks for listening
J
 

BlueGreen

Well-Known Member
#2
Welcome to SF, @JayoO, I'm so sorry to hear what you are going through. That is a lot of responsibility to deal with so I think you are entitled to feel 'needy'. When you are meeting everyone else's needs yours have to be met too. While my situation is not the same, I am one of many here that probably wouldn't be around if it wasn't for our children. Your children DO need you, now and always, I hope you never doubt that. I wonder if your counselor has any suggestions re a support group? You say your wife has just left so it sounds like things are very raw right now. There is a lot of support and understanding here. I have found that having a place where you can actually say you have thought of suicide does take some of the power out of it. I hope things improve for you.
 

JDot

1 Peter 5:7
Forum Pro
SF Supporter
#3
Hi @JayoO It's understandable to be depressed when your wife leaves. You'll always have a place here to share your thoughts and feelings. We're here for you. And we're glad to have you here.
 
#4
Hi. I'm sorry you are feeling bad at the moment.

Looking after a child with special needs while maintaining a job must be incredibly difficult and a lot of responsibility to deal with. In fact, you mention being not "strong" enough but you seem pretty strong to me.

If you are looking to find a support group, as mentioned above, your therapist may be able to refer you to a good support group for people struggling with mental health issues or, depending on where you live, there may already be support groups in your area. Maybe these could be something you could attend for extra support?

If you don't feel your medication is helping (and you've been on them a reasonable period of time) you could ask your doctor to review your medication. He may be able to change your prescription to something that may work better for you.

For the time being, you have found a good forum here where you will be able to find people going through similar situations to you and who can support you through your tough times.

I hope you can feel better soon. Sending hugs *hug10.
 
#5
Thank you for your replies. I will reach out to my therapist for a support group. I'm scared I may not have the motivation to even take care of the kids soon. I'm losing it. I'm reaching out and I hope something will snap me out of this. Give me the will to do the right thing. It's such a nice sunny day outside. Inside I feel so dark and empty.

Wish you all the best.
 

Paisley

* * *
SF Artist
SF Supporter
#6
That's a considerable amount of pressure you have placed on you. Since this thread is in the no advice wanted subforum, I will just say this: right now you feel as if your wife was the last relationship you'll ever have, but your girls will grow up and you won't be this overburdened forever. And then, sooner or later, you're likely to meet someone new who will accept you and who will care enough to stay by you. What makes me say that is that you seem like a genuinely nice person. Anyway, hold in there. We're all here to listen.
 

Lane

SF Supporter
#9
Hi, I am a single father raising 2 girls alone. One of my children has severe cerebral palsy. My wife has just left me, we were married for about a year. We both have children that we brought into the marriage, and I was never able to be the step father to her children that she wanted. I wasn't strong enough for her. I ended up pushing her away with all my mistakes and weaknesses. I was too needy. I've wanted a best friend to spend my life with. I don't think I'll ever have that again. I don't have time to meet people or have relationships with trying to juggle work and take care of the kids. I am alone this weekend because I can no longer lift my special needs daughter. The only thing that stops me from taking my life is that I don't know what would happen to my children. I can't sleep and can barely keep the concentration to perform my job and be a father. I've gone through counseling and take medication, but I haven't seen any improvement.

I just feel so alone. My situation makes it so difficult to have a support group. I don't know what to do.

Thanks for listening
J
Hi @JayoO. Welcome to the forum. It does sound like you are being pulled in many directions. You sound like a good person a father. Life can truly be harsh sometimes and just become unmanageable. I hope that you can find some peace here.

I know it's hard to find time to go to counseling when you have to work and take care of the children. I find that medicine helps with depression though. They say it takes a while to get into your system, depending on what it is.

I hope you have a decent fathers day tomorrow. You deserve it. Hope to see you around here more.
 
#10
Medication has been difficult. Some make me too dizzy and I have been on it for a few months now. I'm hoping to find the right concoction to get me through this season. I already feel a little better with all of your support. I can't wait to just be on the up and up. I think I have to focus on surviving each day...
 

KM76710

Kangaroo Manager
SF Pro
SF Supporter
#11
Hello and welcome. Sounds like a tough time for you but you seem to have the right attitude...one day at a time. Wishing best for you.
 

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