I can't do it anymore

Discussion in 'Help Me! I Need to Talk to Someone.' started by cookiemonster, Oct 7, 2009.

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  1. cookiemonster

    cookiemonster Banned Member

    I've tried really hard over the past few days to want to live. I've tried talking to people on here and in real life and people just don't seem to see me anymore and seeing as i seem to be unhelpable why don't i just get it over with?

    i have actually tried really hard this time to get the help. i have everything set up for me to do it now and the one thing that was keeping me alive isn't around anymore so there is nothing holding me back anymore.

    i'm trying to hold on to see if gets better but there is nothing that i can hold onto anymore. i want to die but i don't, i'm confused but i think my mind may be made up this time.
     
  2. Chargette

    Chargette Well-Known Member

    Please stay with us. It's only been a few days and I'm asking you to give yourself a chance to give belonging to this forum community a chance to help you find your way through this.

    :hug:
     
  3. Tam

    Tam Well-Known Member

    Hey GLG, what's up? Last I saw of you was a really sweet thread in which I almost posted something soppy. It sounds like you're feeling ignored (my biggesst trigger). Do you want to say what's been happening? You can PM if you prefer.

    Hang in there, come back and talk to us.
     
  4. cookiemonster

    cookiemonster Banned Member

    i'm just wondering whether or not its worth it anymore. i like to try and please people and so i end up getting taken advantage of regularly. People only like having me around when they want something from me and when i need something, all of a sudden they are not there anymore. this is what upsets me.

    they also all make plans when i'm there and don't actually invite me either.

    feeling suicidal makes me invisible and feeling invisible makes me suicidal.

    i just don't know what to do but i have a number of plans.
     
  5. Tam

    Tam Well-Known Member

    What you've described sounds pretty painful. I'm sorry you're being made to feel like that.

    As one who has a REALLY big thing about being invisible, I can say that one of the best ways to counter the shit feelings which that creates is to make a supreme effort and reach out to be heard and seen. Even if it means feeling afraid or selfish or stupid or overstepping the line - chances are that most people simply are not aware that they are making you feel invisible. I've even been known to point blank ask to be invited somewhere, when I've felt excluded (and yes once it backfired, but that's because the person was actually deliberately not inviting me -but at least I then knew for certain that it wasn't me imagining it, and gave me something a bit more concrete to deal with!)

    And I sincerely hope that none of your plans are what I think it might be?

    Tam
     
  6. cookiemonster

    cookiemonster Banned Member

    I am reaching out to get attention but am doing it in a really bad way which has just got me in trouble in chat.

    i have also tried in real life but it doesn't seem to work and i also discussed it with my doctor who is now going to get me assessed cos he thinks i'm paranoid.

    and my plans are what you think cos in my attempts to get the attention of others i'm pushing them away...

    thanks

    Emily
     
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