I can't do it anymore

Discussion in 'Mental Health Disorders' started by cateka, Dec 7, 2009.

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  1. cateka

    cateka New Member

    Vomiting all day every day.
    I can stop.
    I try and try and try. I can't do it.
    I am not a pessimist, I tried for 8 years to stop. I can't sleep, I can't work, I can't respond to my boyfriend (my only friend in the world).
    I just make everybody miserable.
    I've wasted over £1000 in the last few months on food.
    My teeth are ROTTEN. Grey halfway up, yellow the rest of the way.
    I will never in a million years be able to afford to fix them (really, I am a nurse).
    I will never be beautiful even if my eating disorder stops.
    I will never be worth anything.
    The damage I have done to my appearance is irreversable.
    The saddest part is... I looked alright to begin with.

    If anybody knows the point in living through tonight, do tell me.
  2. revoltra

    revoltra Well-Known Member

    I'm so sorry. living with an ed is i a hell. Lately all i've been doing is binging and purging. I know how hard it can get. But you are worth it and things can get better.

    I'm here if u ever wanna talk just pm me
  3. Little_me

    Little_me Well-Known Member

    I'm so sorry... I haven't purged that much myself but I know how it is , struggling and trying to deal with an ED every single day.
    I hate it, and I bet that's where to begin...
  4. savetoniqht

    savetoniqht Well-Known Member

    EDs are unbelievably hard to deal with. I've never had as big a problem with purging as I did with not eating, but it has definitely been a part of my life. Either way I understand the pain, how it feels like it will never get easier. I've been in rehab for a while now and I'm still having trouble believing it. I giess we have to look at all the people who have managed to overcome this hell, at the success stories. I wish there were more I could say to help. :[ feel free to PM me if you ever need to talk one on one.
  5. plates

    plates Well-Known Member

    first of all, i know what i'm going to say will sound stupid but i really hear you and hope you made it through that night relatively ok.

    what have you tried to stop? stopping isn't easy. and finding the right therapist isn't easy either. don't hate yourself for being in the grips of something that you're , from what i hear, you're not in control of it anymore.

    what psychological treatment have you had in the past?
    and are the drs keeping an eye on your physical health because what you're doing right now could end in a heart attack.
  6. My_eyes_lie

    My_eyes_lie Well-Known Member

    The last time I was purging that much I had to go IP to stop. Have you considered that? I know it's scary, but so is living your life as a vomitfest (which mine had become). It's ok to get help to stop a behavior. You have to break the cycle. xoxo
  7. AEdle

    AEdle Well-Known Member

    I understand you 99% the other 1% is because in some way we are different.

    A mm what about a support team?A center where people try to stop and support each other when they want to P/B .

    A mmm 1000 is something...Try to put this money for something else..like clothes..maybe a new car or new furnitures or something that is useful and is not food.
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