I cant do it

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by xXWhateverItTakesXx, Apr 19, 2012.

Thread Status:
Not open for further replies.
  1. xXWhateverItTakesXx

    xXWhateverItTakesXx Forum Buddy

    I can't do this... I want to find somewhere so high, take one last breathe and jump.. I will be free then

  2. AfterFact

    AfterFact Well-Known Member

    Do you think that will be any better? Fall several stories to your apparant death, spending the last seconds of your life in terror, in suffering? No, you wont be free then, death doesnt set you free, you may want to die now, you may want to just say to hell with it all and take your last breath, I've been there, I know how that feels, but I also know that suicide is not the answer, things do get better, even when things seem hopeless, things do get better, it took me 4 long years to get out of the hole I dug myself into, it took several failed sucide attempts, being admited into a mental hosptial three times against my will, countless relaspes, countless stupid mistakes, I had no God to turn to, no family member to help me, no one I let into my real life, but through all the suffering I submited myself to, I survived, and I got better. I learned it the hard way, I dont anyway one to repeat mine or countless other's journeys. Please, keep breathing, give life another chance.
  3. spidy

    spidy Well-Known Member

    I agree with Afterfact i have very similar story now i look back to see how silly it was to even attempt and just hoping ive done no long term damage.
  4. pppqp

    pppqp Well-Known Member

    how are you feeling now, hun?

    you can't think straight right now so you it's not the time to make such a huge decision. sit still for a moment. let go of all thoughts. or sleep it off

  5. slam

    slam Member

    I cannot do much as i am also a 'attemptee' but I can tell you how you die will affect your afterlife, if you choose a method that gave you tremendous agitation and grief, that's what you should expect in your afterlife...so I dunno about you, but I'd think twice or more, there may be no method of ejection from the afterlife so if you mess up your entry into it, you might be screwing yourself worse than your present state

    be calm, be collected
  6. xXWhateverItTakesXx

    xXWhateverItTakesXx Forum Buddy

    This aint no rushed decision. I have had many attempts before, but at least this way I can't fail. My life is worth nothing!!

    When we die there is just darkness and I will welcome that because its so much better than this. Im very ready.
  7. xXWhateverItTakesXx

    xXWhateverItTakesXx Forum Buddy

    Sat here at work on a break. Been having panic attacks since 3, feel so crap. I cant do this...I have to go, too much pain. Im nothing...
  8. AfterFact

    AfterFact Well-Known Member

    When we die, our brains die as well, you wont be able to see even darkness, there will be nothing, no thoughts, just death. You say your ready, but when you start that fall to the ground, you wont be ready, you will be regreting everything, you will fear the end all the way to the ground. And what if you live? Its not impossible, what then? Panic attacks are temporary, death isnt. Panics Attacks can be treated, stopped even over time, death can't.
    Last edited by a moderator: Apr 21, 2012
  9. youRprecious!

    youRprecious! Antiquities Friend

    AfterFact, hun - because you haven't yet physically died, you really can have no way of knowing - as nobody can who is still living - that "when we die our brains die as well, you wont be able to see even darkness, there will be nothing, no thoughts, just death"

    I know this is what those who attempt are hoping for - oblivion that will end their pain. I know because I've been there....... but like you, I also know it is not the answer.

    The reality of our situation is that, if we are honest, we know in that deep place within ourselves, called our consciousness, that there are these great issues we don't know very much about, but would like to if we could be certain there was no fear or condemnation or guilt involved. Getting to know our own souls and their true worth, coming to an understanding about existence that, actually, makes perfect sense....... to have this awareness that we are truly and deeply loved by the "higher power" who created us (........ even if our circumstances belie this).

    It might sound a wonderful state to attain, but we think when we are suicidal that it isn't even there to attain,or if it is - not for us and that we are somehow excluded.

    But this is where our thinking goes awry - AWOL - when we are down and desperate, it is so easy for hope to fly out of the window.

    This is why I've joined SF - to write about the VERY REAL HOPE that is available for everyone, no matter how you feel you are, no matter what has happened to you, or anything that you might have done that now makes you feel worthless.

    Whateverittakes - you are NOT worthless - you are, actually, irreplaceable. There is only one of you, and you are a part of Creation that is unique. And there is the invitation for you to discover so much that, up till now, has been just a lot of question-marks that - it is assumed, there are no answers to. When, in fact there are......

    Totally willing to write more, but that's probably enough for now,
    Love and blessings,
  10. AfterFact

    AfterFact Well-Known Member

    First, I was simply mirroring whateverittakes, who according to what she personally said is darkness, not a higher power. Second, not all suicidal people, myself included believe in God in the first place, I dont believe there is anything to attain in the first place, when I'm not sucidial, my beliefs are the same. And your right, I havent physically died, I've come close a few times, but like you, I really have no way of knowing what happens after death. This extends to the other end of the spectrum, that God is real and there is a Heaven and Hell. You cant possibly know for certain they are real. It goes both ways, there is no evidence that souls are real, faith is belief without evidence, which is a key part of most religions. God wasn't here for me when my Dad had a stroke, when he had a second stroke, when my Mom was molested by my grandfather, when our family went bankrupt, when I overdosed and crawled into a fetal position on my bed wishing I had succeded. I could care less if I go to heaven, because I dont believe in heaven. Suicide has nothing to do with God, I cant believe you brought up religion in a suicide thread. But since you have, why should I care about being deeply loved by a God who has not helped me in anyway, has not shown himself, has not done a thing except for watching me like a twisted stalker. I'm not going to debate religion with you, theres no point, I can predict every possible argument and response and will likely be rather accurate in that respect, but when you make false assumptions I'm sorry but that just pisses me off for some reason.
  11. youRprecious!

    youRprecious! Antiquities Friend

    Right, understood. Sorry for the offence.

    But if I could just mention that it IS possible to know - where you say I can't possibly know. But I won't take it any further.
  12. xXWhateverItTakesXx

    xXWhateverItTakesXx Forum Buddy

    I just lost all hope. The guy I was writing about earlier...the last thing I said was "I hope you never leave" and he told me tonight he is leaving tomorrow. I feel so heartbroken and upset...Hes such a good friend. This is the worst thing that happen...Im gunna cry so much at work tomorrow...It will be the last time we ever see each other...:'( :'(

    I still want to jump. I SH at work earlier...Im a mess and no one can save me now
  13. spidy

    spidy Well-Known Member

    Mate be strong look to a new day i know its hard but hey dont hate yourself dig deep and believe in yourself do it for you
  14. xXWhateverItTakesXx

    xXWhateverItTakesXx Forum Buddy

    I cant...I never want these next few hours to pass...I cant get through work without him :'( Thinking what to write in his card is killing me even more...:(
  15. spidy

    spidy Well-Known Member

    have you councillors or a doc if so go have a chat with them you need too reach out for extra help right now
  16. pppqp

    pppqp Well-Known Member

    it doesn't worth it, honey. to kill yourself because you are feeling weak only at this moment.
    this painful moment shall pass.
    you need to step back to see the big picture.
    do not let yourself intentionally dwell in misery.
  17. youRprecious!

    youRprecious! Antiquities Friend

    Whatever......... I second what pppqp says honey......... Try to step back and see a bigger picture, although your situation appears to be "permanent" - it is not as permanent as offing would be honey - and there are those for whom your life is still valuable in spite of these difficulties.

    I read this, just this morning, and wanted to pass it on, it's called Hope:

    Hope is.... Wisdom in simplicity, Joy in difficulties, Fulfilment in imperfection, Peace amidst chaos, Love amidst anger, Belief amidst doubt, Strength in weakness, Brightness in darkness

    Strength, blessings and hope willed your way, Whatever. :bubble:
Thread Status:
Not open for further replies.