I can't do this anymore, I can't cope.

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by al0neinmusic, Aug 27, 2015.

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  1. al0neinmusic

    al0neinmusic Member

    I want things to end for once and for all. I keep kidding myself that it'll be fine and I'll get better but every time I do get 'better' I end up dropping again, and it's usually even worse than I remember it being.

    I'm not someone who cries a lot but I feel it all the time at the moment, I'm just feeling completely hopeless, every single second of every single day is just pain and torture and I can't take it anymore. I hate everything, I hate everyone, but most of all I hate myself. And I can't live with myself. There's that phrase in the Shawshank Redemption, "get busy living or get busy dying". I've tried to start living again, I've tried to do things that make me happy, and I'm still in this place after all of that. And I wonder if it's finally time to give up.

    I'm stuck in that horrible in between right now where I don't want to live or die, I just want to sleep forever, so I don't know wtf I wanna do to be honest.
    If only my feelings were a little clearer, I might even be gone already if that was the case.
  2. Runner

    Runner New Member

    I've had the same feelings you've described. I don't want to live or die, and the result is I just feel stuck. Depression can make it difficult to be in touch with your emotions and can alter how you perceive yourself and the rest of the world. Please know that it is not you but the illness that is causing you to feel this way. Things can be good again, you just need to get healthy. Don't give up; don't let the sickness win. You are so strong for making it this far already, and you are strong enough to keep fighting.
  3. Butterfly

    Butterfly Sim Addict Staff Alumni SF Author SF Supporter

    I am so sorry to hear that you are in this dark, terrible and lonely place too al0neinmusic. I am also in this place at present and I am searching for answers to try and get rid of these thoughts and feelings but alas, I have not got very far. I don't really have any fabulous words of advice but I am trying to live in the present and not dwell on the past or worry about the future, and trying to focus on small successes. Small successes lead to the bigger picture in the end, and I am hoping that this will be the case for me. I also want you to know that you are not alone and although I don't really have any answers, I am here for you if you need to talk :hug:
  4. AAA3330

    AAA3330 Well-Known Member

    I'm sorry that you're suffering. My mind has been torturing me for 3 years now. I honestly don't know how I've lasted this long, but I think that I'm going to be hurting for a long time, until I die.
  5. cotopaxi

    cotopaxi Member

    I'm going through some really bad stuff right now and can't see a possible future that I want to exist in. I've seriously considered suicide as a way out and even planned out how, when and where I will do it. <mod edit - methods> But I know there is a future that I would be happy to live in, it's just that I can't see a way to get there. That's the main reason I'm hanging on. I guess if you can think of a situation in which you would be happy, no matter how unattainable that may be you owe it to yourself to try and figure out a way to get there.
    Last edited by a moderator: Sep 10, 2015
  6. al0neinmusic

    al0neinmusic Member

    See, I want there to be a future so badly, and if I weighed out how my actual physical life was right now, it's actually okay. I'm doing acting and this is something I love. But I just can't cope with my thoughts anymore. I'm finding everything just so unbearable and difficult, I just want this all to be over, I'm starting to think of ways I can get out myself.
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