I can't understand why my family hates me so much. I'm not sure if I'm a scape goat for them and they just don't care, or if I did something wrong and they enjoy seeing me hurt! If my brother did something wrong like leave a dish in the sink it's over looked, he runs up the phone bill and doesn't pay even half of it and no one gave it a second thought. But holy crap my boyfriend left a piece of paper on the table! I get blamed for my dad cheating on my stepmom, I get blamed for the rest of the family finding out, my father disowns me and my biological brother changed sides for some random reason. I can't stop thinking about what I did wrong and I can't find the answer. I try so hard for them to accept me unconditionally the way a parent should. My dad only loves me when he's completely drunk. They've taken away everything that has ever made me happy. They took what I needed. I have nothing left. My friends are gone and boyfriend only seems to do things to make it worse. I don't want to blame him but I get in trouble for everything he does. I can't burden them anymore! They already want nothing to do with me. I seem in the way and whatever I did wrong I obviously can't fix. I feel like a terrible person no matter what I do. I really try so hard. No one wants to see it. No one but my boyfriend knows that I'm like this. He only knows because he's caught me several times. He is the only thing that stops me, but I told him to leave for a while. I have the means and no one to stop me. I'm not sure I will hesitate this time.... I have nothing left... I'm so sorry if I'm wasting your time. I just need someone to have known what I've been feeling before I no longer have the chance.