I can't do this anymore

[skezz2013]

I really have had enough. Been thinking about it on and off for years now but the last few weeks the feelings have got more intense and now tonight it's worse than ever.

Recently split from my hubby, he had a breakdown. Eldest daughter blamed me, now she's not talking to me. My parents are not talking to me or one of my brothers, I failed my job seekers medical to claim benefits. Everything is going wrong. I'm sick of struggling and sick of the pain. My life has been nothing but abuse and violence and S**t. Can't see the point in anything. I'm sick of playing this game of life cos I'm not winning. :frusty::crushed:

 

[Sadeyes]

I am so sorry you are feeling this way now...I definitely know the feeling...I have been under the proverbial pile many times, and each time, I wonder if I can go on...then I come here, get support or go to a friend IRL and I can breathe...please continue to post so we can be there for you...with much caring

 

[skezz2013]

Thank Sadeyes, I appreciate your support. It's almost 4.50 am here and I've had very limited sleep. My stomach is churning worse than it ever has and I feel sick, I feel like I want to be sick actually. I'm shaking from head to toe and can't get that under control. Feel at the moment the only reason I'm still here is because I have my youngest daughter staying but she is going home today. I'm so weary and tired of it all. My eldest daughter text me last night to say I'm disgusting and a liar and she wants nothing to do with me. We used to be so close. I just want all this to be over. I have no one anymore.

 

[Sadeyes]

Unfortunately, many people have to have an aggressor, someone they can blame for what may be a blameless or wrongfully blamed situation...sounds like your older daughter needs something like that...I am sure it is very painful, but maybe you can hear it differently, and not personalize the expressions of her pain...like her, I have done and said many things I regret because I have been in dire pain, and much was aimed at ppl who loved me because I knew they would not leave...is there any way to have a dialogue with her? Family counseling? Something that can get at the heart of what she is experiencing and can deflect what is being aimed at you? Again, I am so sorry you are being hurt on top of all the other things, and I hope someday your daughter can forgive herself...with much caring