i cant do this anymore

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by maddie321, Aug 20, 2007.

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  1. maddie321

    maddie321 New Member

    I just got out of 1 1/2 year relationship. He was my everything. One day he flat out told me he wasn't in love with me and he wanted nothing to do with me. We were having problems for a couple of months but he always told me we'd still be together. I don't have a lot of friends anymore cuz i ditched them for him all the time. I just moved and everytime i call him he starts yelling at me and calling me annoying. I can't go on anymore.. I have nothing to live for.
     
  2. LonelyKid

    LonelyKid Well-Known Member

    Well are your friends still there? Just because you pushed them away doesn't mean they started to hate you does it? Even so one person leaving your life isn't worth doing anything to yourself. He shouldn't matter more to you than you do to yourself. If he's acting that way there's probably little chance he wants you back but you shouldn't want that kind of treatment in your life.

    I've never had a relationship with a person so I don't know how it can hurt to lose someone you care about but I know what its like to lose someone that lost someone. Please keep going even if I didn't say anything to help maybe someone else will.
     
  3. gemusan

    gemusan Active Member

    Take a step back... he's only a guy. There are 3 billion of them in the world. If the relationship doesn't work out, it's better to end it early than later. Just move on. There's plenty of fish in the sea.
     
  4. bluegirl13

    bluegirl13 New Member

    im in a similar situation. my bf left me too. only he left me for another girl.
    i know how you feel. i joined the forum bcause of the split.
    it feels like you cant breathe
     
  5. LionsLionsLions

    LionsLionsLions New Member

    ditto. except it was 10 years for me. and my calls don't even get answered...

    hang in there.
     
  6. Cat2007

    Cat2007 Member

    Sometimes it helps to be angry at the person. It's not a long-term solution, but one that may work in the short-term. If I offend anyone by this advice, I apologize, I am merely offering something that has worked for me in the past, and I would prefer that the OP be "unhealthily" angry at her ex than suicidal and hurt herself.

    So try it. Think about how messed up it is that he left like that. Call him names in your head. Get a photo of him and draw devil horns on him. Tell yourself he sucks and you are so GLAD to be rid of him. I know it will feel wrong at first, because you love him, but anger is a very powerful emotion, and often will override sadness. Listen to angry songs by angry girls. Think about how your own mother or father (or whoever has loved you in the past besides him) would feel towards your ex if they knew he was driving you to suicide. They would be pretty pissed at him. So focus on the bad he has done to you, and (this is important) make sure you get in touch with some of those friends that you have been neglecting. There is nothing like an all-out ex-bashing between girlfriends. I am sure that at least one of them has bad stories about an ex of hers, and you two can commiserate. Then, by the time the anger wears off and the hurt comes back (unfortunately it probably eventually will), then you will have friends already nearby to help you through and do the real emotional work.

    Look, the thing is, no matter what happened between you two, even if you think you did something wrong, NO ONE deserves to be driven to suicide because another person has decided not to be with them. Don't let him do that to you! Say no to him and no to his rejection. Switch it around. YOU can reject HIM. Why not? If he doesn't want to be with you then why sit around and glorify his memory? There will be plenty of time after the dust has settled and you are in a more confident state of mind to look at things objectively. Right now you have got to get MAD.

    I think I am on the brink of losing my own relationship, and trust me, if it doesn't work out, this is the tactic I will use to get over it, initially. I hope it works for both of us. Good luck.
     
  7. My first post.

    Hello. I think Cat2007 is so right. Many people think anger is bad. anger is not bad, it is a valid emotion that should be explored and channeled appropriately. Make sure you feel it, make sure you do something with it or you may turn it on yourself and that's when you could hurt yourself or take the suicidal route.

    I used to run lots when I felt angry - I'd finish so tired and worn out I had to slep - but I had expressed myself, I also got quite fit which was a bonus! I was amazed at how far I could run.
     
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