i cant...do this anymore

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by gamergirl, Jan 19, 2011.

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  1. gamergirl

    gamergirl Well-Known Member

    im so upset everything is going wrong when things seem to be getting better they just keep getting worse! so much stress at work i come home crying everyday. customers being mean and insulting me, saying i have no personality. im not trying to be their best friend just trying to server their fucking food so i can get my measily paycheck! my boss threatening to cut my hours and fire me. and on top of that i might be homeless soon :'( got a note in the door saying my brother and the guest have been making too much noise and disrespecting officers and management and if the problem doesnt fix in 7 days we get evicted! great so im gonna be without a job and a home theres really no point in living now. i cant...i cant do this. i said i would stay alive for my mom but fuck her shes yelling at me for having my door locked i cant ever get any fucking privacy! i have 3 bottles of pills on my desk that mom gave me. she doesnt know im suicidal. im about to just chug them all...
  2. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    Hey you i know it is hard when costumers are rude inconsiderate. Maybe you can start looking for a better job one that does not deal with people like this.

    I think time to get rid of the brother and his pals time for them to find place of their own that way you keep your place Just tell them okay. Your pills do what i did throw them out okay get rid of them so your not tempted.

    i know shitty day but try to rest okay get to bed early and start looking maybe for a job that you don't have to deal with customers so much hugs to you:hugtackles::hugtackles:
  3. Staysuplate

    Staysuplate Member

    I am sorry, that sounds terrible. The customer thing, well people can be rude and idiots, but the main thing there is your boss.

    Hey, maybe you could just flush those pills yeah? I agree with total eclipse, maybe a good nights rest will help.

    Plus I am sure if you talk to your brother, with the whole eviction thing, and that won't happen.

    Sorry again you feeling down. I am sure you can gather some more strength and energy tomorrow.
  4. 1victor

    1victor Well-Known Member

    I know that methods are not to be discussed here but for what it worth I happen to know the proper way to use pills and weirdly enough I learned it .. not on the Internet.... but from a TV program about doctors who kill their patients. And!... the method is not even remotely close to what most people think unless it's <edit Mod method>
    Whatever info you get on the net will either do you nothing or simply fry your brain. On top of your problems you also get to be reminded by your rude customers to keep saliva in your mouth. Not a pretty picture. I am sure you do not want that.
    I know that I am not helping you with your problems but I am sure do not want you to get even more problems than you already have.

    In my experience, people sense other people's emotional state. Change that, see if it helps. Generally people do not hate people who admire them. If you feel vulnerable hide it under a smile and say a compliment to this person.

    Just my 2c
    Last edited by a moderator: Jan 20, 2011
  5. lachrymose27

    lachrymose27 Well-Known Member

    In 7 days, if problem is fixed, then you won't be evicted, yeah?.. Hey, you shouldn't say that about your mom, she is only worried about you. I've been there, my mom always bitched about my locked door, it REALLY pissed me off.. being in the 20s with no privacy.. Made me hate her, even made me think bad thoughts. But then I thought, wow, I'm a fucking monster. She was only worried about my well-being because I "seem" like one of those types that people are afraid of. or maybe the types that would die secretly in the room. You are really young, what, 20? Do you know how many people are unemployed right now? Almost everyone.. You can always find another job... now that you have a little experience under your belt, sure you can find a retail job easy. Anyway, what games do you play?

  6. Stranger1

    Stranger1 Forum Buddy & Antiquities Friend

    I relate to the locked door.. I'm 53 and my sister is my caregiver.. When I lock my door she beats on it until I open it.. She knows I am suicidal and she can't check on me when it's locked..
  7. mortdesinos

    mortdesinos Well-Known Member

    Of course you have a personality, probably one that is much deeper than your customers. Do not believe their words. They want to bring you down to their level. You are intelligent. You have it good.
  8. mortdesinos

    mortdesinos Well-Known Member

    Let her say "Fuck you" or whatever she wants. I think she can handle herself. This is not the time to be scolding!
  9. Dave_N

    Dave_N Banned Member

    Please don't harm yourself gamergirl. I'm sorry that people at work are being jerks, but it's not the end of the world. You can get through this. Maybe your family can find a new place to stay if you have to leave? :hug:
  10. Socialman

    Socialman Well-Known Member

    You are a gamer girl. I am a gamer guy and will always look at you with admiration because you have tons of gamer personality.
  11. BornAgain

    BornAgain Well-Known Member

    Change is hard, but you are at a perfect stage, start a new life, instead of hurting yourself, you can get rid of what's hurting you, start a new life, become someone else's roommate, get another job, nobody gets paid to be put down, throw away those pills, tell your mother about your thoughts, you sound like a great woman, you deserve a better life, go out and enjoy.

    Will pray for you because I care.
  12. gamergirl

    gamergirl Well-Known Member

    *sigh* i tried to convince mom to move out but she said she cant afford it. and i sure as hell cant afford to live with roomates. so i guess im stuck here until we get evicted then its lights out
  13. peacelovingguy

    peacelovingguy Well-Known Member

    Gamer girl, I'm sorry to hear things are going badly - but I gotta tell you that you should not think about taking pills or any other means of suicide. I mean, I'm not telling you what to think - just reminding you that we're all human and we all think about it but generally don't go through with it. Nor should you.

    As for life right now - if your brother's friends are the cause of complaints, he should have his buddies barred from the home - not least because you won't have one if he plays the host to the usual antics.

    Maybe he ought to realise this.

    Your mum really needs to draw the line there. But, its not easy I know, especially with you feeling so down in the dumps. You need help also and God knows the pressure of evictions looming does impact on younger people.

    I'm sure someone from the USA can answer questions appertaining to US housing laws and how to approach any threat of eviction. I know people in the UK who deal with this all the time - mother's who face eviction due to sons whose behaviour can be a crime wave of one. Some places have stricter rules than others. In real bad areas you could likely commit 100 crimes before someone official thinks they have had their chances!

    In my area people are forgiving for the main part.

    You mention no father around? I assume your mum is looking after you and a handful of a son. Its hard to expect you to run the house - or worry about evictions and so on. That said - do not let it worry you too much. It has not happened and you, your brother and mum maybe need to sit down with someone involved in housing law. Maybe the landlord could be invited IF your brother can be persuaded to cool it. There will be someone local who could liaise. I'm sure a Google search of the local area will provide something.

    Your problems relate to this and other stress. You feel it bad when young - I mean I was lucky, I had good parents, but many kids did not and lived through childhoods that were devoid of the basic love and care a child needs.

    Hold on in there - your young, life changes and I gotta say that what lies ahead for you could easily be the opposite of what you have and were you are right now.
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