I can't do this, I can't

Discussion in 'Rants, Musings and Ideas' started by ~CazzaAngel~, Aug 4, 2007.

  1. ~CazzaAngel~

    ~CazzaAngel~ Staff Alumni

    I can't do this. I can't do it anymore. Why? why should I? i'm worthless, i'm ugly, fat, so bad, awful, hidious, I hate me, everyone hates me. Why? why live?/? Why??? why should I? I can't do this, I can't deal, I'm stupid, i'm awful, I HATE MYSELF I DO, I HATE MYSELF! I am barely making it, why go on? 21 years of hell, I finally thought i might be happy but even if he gets here, he will hate me, he will regect me, he will think i'm stupid, he'll think i'm fat, he won't love me anymore. I want to end this, I don't know why I am struggling anymore I've been through so much, my life won't change, he's too good for me I know it and he will see it in the future then I will be broken again and I can't be hurt again, I can't ICAN'T!! why, why, why, why, why?!!?!?!?!?!?/ :cry:
     
  2. Carolyn dear, you can do this, and we are all here to help you get through all of this. You are a very beautiful young lady with tons of compassion and care for others. You help me so much and are a major reason why I continue to live. You know I feel the same way about myself as you do about yourself but it just isn't true of you hun, it's not. You know I care about you hun, and I don't want you getting hurt. I know that Liam loves you Carolyn, he talks about you all the time. Just think about the great times ahead, when he gets there and remember what you told me Carolyn. You know I love you and I'm here to talk whenever...any time, day or night. You have my number hun. Please take care and try to be safe! :hug:
     
  3. Esmeralda

    Esmeralda Well-Known Member

    Sweetheart, you are nervous and scared. Don't let your self-doubt cripple you and prevent you from being happy and healthy. You are a kind and sensitive person and anyone in your life is lucky.
     
  4. life~death

    life~death Well-Known Member

    lass, ur not worthless, ur not ugly i think ur good lookin
    ur not hidious, u shouldnt hate urself, i like you alot and i want to be with you
    when i go see you, ill like u even more than i already do, iv already seen u and i still think ur realy good lookin and most of all i love you, u mean everythin to me. i want to be able to make ur life alot better than it was but all i can do is try to make you happy and i would do anythin to make happy :wub:
     
  5. expressive_child

    expressive_child Well-Known Member

    You are such a kind and caring girl and any guy would be lucky to have you. Do not look down upon yourself, you are a great person! Trust yourself! :hug:
     
  6. Terry

    Terry Antiquities Friend Staff Alumni

    Caz take a deep breath, calm down and wait and see. It might work out it might not..thats life, but it won't be because he suddenly thinks you're hideous. Like Liam said, he's seen you already...you're just having a "fat, ugly moment"....have those myself every so often they aint nice.
    Don't let a bad image of self moment ruin something thats good :hug:
     
  7. ~CazzaAngel~

    ~CazzaAngel~ Staff Alumni

    Thank you all for being here for me even though I don't deserve it. I'm sorry i'm such a pain, I don't mean to be. I feel like that everyday of my life, I just felt it in a more intense way that night. I still feel that way and I may always feel that way, I don't know. It is so hard to hang on. A special thank you Liam and Jacque, I love you both! :grouphug:
     
  8. life~death

    life~death Well-Known Member

    you do deserve us bein here for you :hug: and ur not a pain
    im sorry that u feel like that everyday if there was i could change that and make u happy, i would no matter what it was
    i love you too lass :wub:
     
  9. White Dove

    White Dove Well-Known Member

    i love you too hun :hug;
     
  10. ~CazzaAngel~

    ~CazzaAngel~ Staff Alumni

    :hug: :cheekkiss
    I love you too hun :hug: Hang in there, i'd miss you.
     
  11. ~CazzaAngel~

    ~CazzaAngel~ Staff Alumni

    :tongue: :grouphug: Liam, I wub you, and I can post in here if I want. :wink:
     
  12. life~death

    life~death Well-Known Member

    i know you can post here if u want, did i say u couldnt? lol
    i still love you more :tongue:
     
  13. ~CazzaAngel~

    ~CazzaAngel~ Staff Alumni

    :dry: Never ever ever ever will you love me more! :hug:
     
  14. life~death

    life~death Well-Known Member

    i do love you more :wub:
    prove that i dont love you more :tongue:
     
  15. ~CazzaAngel~

    ~CazzaAngel~ Staff Alumni

    Proof coming up: "I finally thought i might be happy but even if he gets here, he will hate me, he will regect me, he will think i'm stupid, he'll think i'm fat, he won't love me anymore. I want to end this, I don't know why I am struggling anymore I've been through so much, my life won't change, he's too good for me I know it and he will see it in the future then I will be broken again and I can't be hurt again"

    :hug:
     
  16. life~death

    life~death Well-Known Member

    but atleast i do love you, thats all that should matter :wub:
    i will like u when i go see you, i love you lass and always will :wub:
     
  17. ~CazzaAngel~

    ~CazzaAngel~ Staff Alumni

    I hope so babe. :unsure: :hug:
     
  18. White Dove

    White Dove Well-Known Member

    im trying..

    it is hard.. especially with this cancer pain...

    i do have my car , well my old station wagon up for sale and someone is gonna look at it this week so hopfully i can get the 1000$ i ask of it and buy some pain meds..

    love you bunches :hug;
     
  19. life~death

    life~death Well-Known Member

    lass, please dont doubt that ill like you when i meet you, i already like you and ill love you even more when i meet you :wub:
     
  20. ~CazzaAngel~

    ~CazzaAngel~ Staff Alumni

    Good luck about the car dear. You'll be in my thoughts and prayers, and remember i'll always be here if you need me. :hug: