i cant do this

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by undercoverlover, Apr 1, 2013.

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  1. undercoverlover

    undercoverlover both dead and alive until somebody opens the box

    whats the point of living anyway? survival? im not living anymore. im just surviving and i hate it. i make it through the day tired as fuck because of these two narcotics. isabelle takes every chance she can to make me feel guilty for terminating our super unhealthy friendship. i dont want to deal with it anymore! no more anxiety, no more crying, no more pain, no more tiredness. nothing. i had a plan but my mom got rid of all the dangerous stuff in the house so im basically stuck. the other night i sobbed on the bathroom floor because i couldnt find something to kill myself with. i wish i didnt have to deal with this. nothing is getting better for me.
  2. Kezzie

    Kezzie Well-Known Member

    I cannot tell you the point of living, because I have yet to find it myself. What I can tell you is this; you do not have to go through this alone. Rant, rave, talk do whatever you need to help you to cope. There is always a reason to make it to tomorrow, sometimes we just need to look for that reason a little bit harder. Please message me if you want to. I would love to be able to talk to you a little more. Sending you lots of hugs and love.

  3. Much afraid

    Much afraid Well-Known Member

    I'm so sorry this is so painful. You can do this. You know you did the right thing but it will take a while for your feelings to catch up with your decision to end that relationship.

    Keep talking. Get the emotion out into the open ~ cry, yell, scream if it helps; you so deserve friends that appreciate how wonderful you are. Friends that build you up and make you feel good. They're out there waiting for the chance to meet you. You are also going to be the gift someone else needs because they've been hurt and broken and need your kindness to help them mend.

    We're all broken and so very much in need of kind, understanding souls to help us. We know what it means to hurt and we know how desperately we want kind words, gentle hugs and no judgement. Because we have this special knowledge we can help that person next to us that is silently screaming for someone to see and just be kind; just say hello so that sense of being invisible is wiped away.

    Please hang on. Keep sharing. Know there are people here and irl who care very much that you're hurting now and want to see you experience wonderful, happy times with kind and loving new friends. ♥♥♥
  4. Mayflower7

    Mayflower7 Banned Member

    Hi Undercoverlover,
    I am so sorry you're going through this, there really is a point to life. I do hope things improve for you.
    We all have to let go of unhealthy friendships, do not blame yourself. Your mum is trying to protect you by removing stuff that is dangerous.
    Take care
  5. undercoverlover

    undercoverlover both dead and alive until somebody opens the box

    a lot of that is temporary, all these alternatives, but death would be permanent. i wouldnt have to deal with anything anymore. i really dont want to live anymore. i cant take it. i just really cant do it. im so unwanted. why bother?
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