Last night I got drunk. I could tell I was annoying everyone around me and when I get drunk I get too honest. I'm not entirely sure what I told people about myself but I'm in a small village so likelihood is I've said too much. I woke up feeling like crap this morning, now I feel really suicidal again. Yes I'm hungover but at the same time I'm wondering why I never change. Once again I have made a fool of myself. I am so so sick of being me and making the same mistakes over and over and over again. I can't seem to change and I just want to be dead because this life is all too much. Work is too much. Making friends is too much. Trying to be 'normal' is just too much. I can't fucking do it and I am sick of trying.