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i cant do this

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#1
i cant do this anymore. i cant keep tying to be happy and hyper. all i want to do is die. i want to cut myself and then fall asleep. i'm a freshman in college, i've only been here a week. i knew it would be hard, but never this hard. i need to die. last night i got drunk and started puking and my friends made me tell them what meds i was on, they were looking it up on the internet to make sure i wasn't going to die by combining alcohol with it. i wish i had died. i'm thinking vaguely about going to the counseling center here, but why? i've been talking to therapists since my freshman year of highschool. if they havent helped me in four years, i dont think anythings gonna change now. i dont know what to do. i just want to die. thats all i know. i cant even think coherently. all i can think about is how unhappy i am. i dont know what to do.
 
#2
Why are you trying to be hyper? Because you think that's how other people want you to act? If you arent a naturally hyper person then dont try to be. Just be yourself and have confidence in yourself. Then the friends you'll make from then on will like you for you not you acting like someone you're not. Those are the kind of friends everybody needs in their life.
 

Xian

Well-Known Member
#3
Slow down and take refuge in the love of your friends and family. Sure, therapy is a long and winding road but it's sooo worth it in the end. Good luck.
 

TLA

Antiquitie's Friend
#5
I know that first semester is always the hardest. I hope that you do endure.
That was what kept me going at a strange time in my life...I had dreams for after I did get that degree.
Also, therapy changes with your life steps and what is going on, can you voice honestly to them? College years are good time to explore and learn about you, so no problem there. Just take care on the drinking side and go moderatly! stay safe and let us know
 

Cheesecake

Well-Known Member
#6
Look at it in perspective, your a freshamn in college, a pirveliged position. i wish i had been good enought at Academia to get into university :(
 

Sadeyes

Staff Alumni
#7
there are so many stresses and adjustment in the first few weeks of one's freshman yr...you would be surprised how many students are going through what you are going through now...if you cannot access your therapist, go to the counseling center at your University...and, if you are in the Boston region, the Counseling Center at Harvard is quite good...please let us know how you are doing and PM me if I can help...big hugs, Jackie
 
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