I can't even do it in peace.........

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by cantevendoitinpeace, Dec 28, 2012.

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  1. cantevendoitinpeace

    cantevendoitinpeace New Member

    I honestly wish it was done yet I can't even do it in peace. My parents will be devastated if it all ends, given the current circumstances they will believe it was their fault even if I leave a note....... I really want it over.... yet... I can't even do it in peace...........
  2. WildCherry

    WildCherry Staff Member ADMIN

    Can you talk about why you want to do it?
  3. LunaShadow

    LunaShadow Active Member

    I understand what that's like, every time I thought about it, I can think of the exact people who will blame themselves. It's frustrating...but...there's a reason for it, and I think you might want to think about why you want to do it and whether or not you can try and get better, give it another go for your sake and for your family's.

    Hope you feel a bit better, and know that we're all here for you.
  4. cantevendoitinpeace

    cantevendoitinpeace New Member

    Financially I've hit rock bottom, emotionally I've hit rock bottom, physically I have no idea........ The only mail I get are bills, the only phone calls I get are from Banks and people in my life for therapy...

    I'm a social butterfly with tons of friends yet alone. I'm a person that helps all yet get abandoned when I need help.

    All the girl friends I have had have cheated or near cheated with the exception of 1 who was the puppy love.

    I've heard the phrases ewwww, ugly, yuck, gross about my appearance possibly because I'm not white. Few have said I'm attractive. Some don't even respond when they see what I look like. The only responses I get from are hookers or women who want something...

    Yes I know in the grand scheme of things my life isn't so bad when you compare what is going on in the world. Ethnic cleansing, people without food to eat, the abuse victims and the list goes on and on and on.

    I'm a ghost for the most that don't require anything from....
  5. inchesfromdeath

    inchesfromdeath New Member

    i know exactly how you feel. I have wanted to end it for so long but cant get past the thought of how many people i would let down or dissapoint. Ive spent the last year trying to distance myself from everyone so that i can finally end everything with as little aftermath as possible, but it so hard. How do you make parents not love you anymore? After my first attempt i realised that i cant pull it off without them being truly devastated but i i dont want them to be upset when i finally put it to an end.
    Life is shit, its full of people who stab you in the back when you need it least. I havent found one person who can truly help me, everytime i talk to people i get worse.

    I know how you feel, everyday is worse, what to do...
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