I can't face the weekend . . .

Discussion in 'Help Me! I Need to Talk to Someone.' started by Mel999, Apr 10, 2013.

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  1. Mel999

    Mel999 Active Member

    . . . or any time after that. There really is no place left for me in this life. I've tried so hard to be positive. I really have. Yesterday I forced myself to be happy but I was just kidding myself and those around me. Not that there was anybody around me. I haven't spoken to another person face to face for two days now. I can't go on like this. I am a 'people' person and need someone to talk to every day. But one by one everybody just fades away when you are down on your luck. Until there is no one left. Nobody replies to any texts or emails. no one picks up the phone. I'm totally lost now and I really don't think anyone would notice if I was gone. I'm already lifeless. Why should I drag this miserable existence out any longer. It's pointless.
     
  2. Mel999

    Mel999 Active Member

    Suddenly the option looks good.
    No more loneliness.
    No more hurt
    No more heartache
    No more solitude
    No more obscurity
    No more failure
    No more invisibility
    No more isolation
    No more despair

    No more crying in the dark.
     
  3. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Alumni SF Supporter

    Hi Mel, I'm so sorry you are going through this. You may feel invisible where you're at right now, but you're never invisible here with us. Maybe try going for a walk or have a warm bath and just forget about the world for a while. :hug:
     
  4. Mel999

    Mel999 Active Member

    Like the world has forgotten about me?
     
  5. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Alumni SF Supporter

    :( I'm sorry you feel that way. Do you have anyone to support you at all? Any professionals?
     
  6. Mel999

    Mel999 Active Member

    No one.

    Every step forward for me, is matched with 10 steps backward.

    Nobody is listening anymore. They say they care, but not enough.
    It's easier for them all to pretend they didn't hear, didn't realise.

    Well they will realise soon enough.
     
  7. Mel999

    Mel999 Active Member

    I just want to go to sleep. Feeling warm. And never have to wake up again.
     
  8. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Alumni SF Supporter

    You say that they say they care, Maybe they do? but don't know how to help. Its hard for someone who doesn't suffer with any mental illness to understand. I know first hand, as I could not leave my house for 4 years and NO -ONE would help, literally. My family ignored me. Mental health professionals wouldn't do a house visit, so i had nobody only this forum literally.
     
  9. Mel999

    Mel999 Active Member

    From Friday onwards, I won't even have this forum because I will be living on the street.
    I can't let that happen. I can't stand being cold. That is definitely NOT an option for me.

    I would normally have my son for this weekend but with nowhere to stay I can't do that.
    So I sent a text to his mum to tell her I would only be able to see him for the day on Saturday.
    I explained the reason why and all she did was bitch about it messing up the plans she had for Friday and Saturday nights.

    I didn't expect her to care about me but I did expect her to at least understand that I couldn't have him for the entire weekend.
    So no doubt she will be telling him what a disappointment his father is.

    I have spent my entire life looking out for people and helping wherever I could.
    I've always put other people first and sacrificed many things to help someone else.
    Yet if ever there is a moment that I am unable to help, then I am the devil himself.
    No one has ever understood that I also, need some support sometimes.

    I have a sister with a large house who hasn't even asked me how I will survive out there and certainly hasn't offered me a roof for the night.
    I have a brother who lives alone in a 4 bedroom house, but he too cannot offer me shelter. He has 'plans' apparently.
    I wish I had 'plans'

    Today and tomorrow I am helping the friend of a friend who needed a house sitter for a couple of days to look after her cats.
    After that I have nothing and nowhere.
     
  10. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Alumni SF Supporter

    Ive read what you said about 3 times. I honestly don't know what to suggest other than can you find a homeless shelter? It breaks my heart to read your post because I can see how much of a kind and warm heart you have got, someone who puts everyone before themselves. I hope 'something' pops up and someone can help you.
     
  11. skinnylove911

    skinnylove911 Well-Known Member

    i truely empathise with how you are feeling right now, do ou have anyone you can speak about how you are feeling?
     
  12. WildCherry

    WildCherry Staff Member ADMIN

    I just want you to know you're being heard here, and people really do care.
     
  13. skinnylove911

    skinnylove911 Well-Known Member

    i hope things improve for you shortly. x
     
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