I'm 27 years old and I've never been to college. I've only been able to hold retail jobs which lasted several months at most. I've been unemployed for years now and I currently live with my mother and her husband in Florida. I originally came down here from Michigan to seek help with my depression which has eaten away the better part of my 20's. Because of this depression, I am a virgin and have never even been touched romantically or sought out a serious relationship since high school. I'm 5'7" and I weigh a measly 115lbs which is due in part not only because of my ridiculously fast metabolism, but also a thyroid problem that I've had since I was 22. Despite these problems, I've been told by many strangers and friends that I'm handsome. However, I feel so incredibly far behind my peers at this point that once someone finds out just how much life has passed me by and how little life experience I have, I couldn't offer anything they can relate to. I've been taking wellbutrin for the past two months now and while at first I thought it was working, I feel completely anhedonic now. The few things I was able to derive pleasure from seem meaningless now. I know I have friends and family who love me, which is the only thing that has been keeping me alive, but I'm exhausted from suffering. There are times where I contemplate what reasons I would live for even if I weren't ill. We're born, we eat, sleep, work for most of our lives and with any luck, retire to sit on our asses all day before our inevitable death. It happens to everyone and there's nothing - not even memories - that we can take with us, so what's the point? I'm envious of people who have faith in God and the afterlife but I've never truly been able to believe it myself. I honestly just have no idea what to do anymore. I'm beginning to believe that my closest childhood friend who killed himself several years ago had the right idea.