Three years ago I came here and found some focus and ended up being signed into the hospital psych ward for a week. I was ready to end it all due to this hideous disease the gods laid on me and then decided to remove everyone from my life. I have been fighting it and even the last few months really working on opening my chakras and focusing on certain areas which have helped to some degree. I am now on my fourth day of this bout (they usually last no more than 48 hours) and all of my fight is gone. It's not that I am desiring to kill myself, but I am wanting to stop fighting, stop taking meds, just stop in hopes it will all go away. Nine and a half years and the government thinks this is a quality life. I have no fight left. I just have no more strength to fight.