i cant fight the fight.........

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by jeffrey1, May 4, 2007.

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  1. jeffrey1

    jeffrey1 Member

    Well my storys kinda a long one but ill make it short...

    Im 24 and for as long as i can remember ive delt with depression. I had a crappy childhood(if you can call it that) an even worse teenage stage, and being an adult doesnt seem to be getting better. Ive cut, drank away my problem, used drugs, and have tried cutting my wrist, odding numerous times, the list goes on. I met this wounderful person who made everything go away, well the pain but not the thoughts, gave up cutting, gave up drinking. Unfortunitly its all back, im military, that in itself in crazy. But i took orders to japan, thinking this would be good finacialy for me and my wife to start a life, but the deamons have returned. Ive gone back to cutting, and drinking, but it all makes this worse, the thoughts are back, and all i want to do is just take mysel out of this world. I cant find anything that makes sense anymore, anything thats worth reasoning with. I dont know what to do anymore. I dont what to fight this b.s. anymore, im sick of trying to find ways to push the thoughts away, the feelings, the hurt from a life that seems to go wong, no matter what i do...................................
     
  2. Adeline

    Adeline Well-Known Member

    Hi jeffrey,

    I'm sorry to hear that you are having a tough time. I know that it must be hard but just try and hold on for another while. Have you ever tried to get some counselling especially for your depression and drinking? If you could build up some sort of support system with other people who use alcohol to cope with their problems, then you might gain some valuable insights into what you can do to stop the cycle. You wouldn't feel so lonely either. It might help. Have you told your wife about your feelings and your pain? I know that it is a cliche but talking does help. I hope that you're okay. I know that it is not always easy to reach out to people. I find it hard myself. Just know that people are here to support and help you no matter what.

    Earla
     
    Last edited by a moderator: May 4, 2007
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