Hello everyone, i am 20 year old guy from india. This is what happened to me, I was studying engineering and in the 1st sem, i failed in 4 out of 5 subjects. This was a bomb on me, i have never failed like this in my life, i did not gave up, tried to clear those subjects in 2nd sem but i was not able to concentrate. I was not able to get this thing out of my head. so i dropped out. My doc said i am having vitamin B12 defficiency, i also completed that med course to raise my B12 %. I really dont know what to say... it just.. well i am pretending to all my frnds and other relatives that i am still doing engineering.... i just cannot take my failure...i dont know why... i think because our society where there is a huge pressure of studies on us.. why we cant just do what we want? ... here engineers from good colleges are not getting any jobs.. then what chance do i stand? I am doing this pretending for last year.... i cant do this anymore.... i love my parents , they are really good.... i am a single child and i feel that i have disappointed them a lot. i really hope that they would have had a son who would have made them proud... I tried to search for alternatives... some of my frnds from my jr. col know about this... they said to me that do a course in any other sub.. but i cant lift a book in my hands now so studying it is out of question... Well you guys must think that this is not a cause for ending one's life but believe me, where i live i dont have any present and any future. We are middle class and are not rich so there is no chance of starting something by my own... I tried to change this situation through the last year... i am constantly keeping my mind out of these suicidal thoughts..... and I dont want to commit a suicide... i know this world is beautiful.... i want to live but i cant figure out how..... can anybody please have a say?