I can't figure out what's wrong with me

Discussion in 'I Have a Question...' started by A member here..., Aug 11, 2008.

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  1. I feel repulsed and dirty when people touch me, especially men. I have never had a boyfriend because of this. I mean I have dated on and off but never had a boyfriend. Part of why I have depression is because of being so alone. I'm depressed when I think I'm going to grow old and not have a boyfriend, ever. When I go on dates or when I realize that someone is attracted to me, I back off. I don't know why.

    It is the same way with my family. My parents can't kiss me or hug me because of it. When someone shows affection or touches me in an affectionate way, I just feel so repulsed. Do any of you feel this way??? I don't know, maybe it's because I never really show my emotions...
  2. notwanting2live

    notwanting2live Well-Known Member

    Heya, ermm im not sure if ive felt the same type of feeligns about relationships that you have, but i feel that when i get so close to people that im going to hurt and that im goning to push them away, then i end up doing something stupid and i push people further away and ive hurt them. i have felt that for a long time, so i can kind of understand. also the thought of having a relationship makes me feel really ill and i feel sick and panicky. i dont no if thats made you feel better, but i hope you find your answers that youre looking for.

    Take Care

    Xx Sky xX
  3. Sadeyes

    Sadeyes Staff Alumni

    Maybe you are having problems feeling safe when you feel intimate...I used to feel like my skin was crawling when someone touched me...it took therapy and desensitization to feel more comfortable...big hugs (this is cyber so they will not feel as bad), J
  4. plates

    plates Well-Known Member

    There might not be anything actually wrong. You don't like men touching you. Why should you? Maybe you aren't attracted to men out there. I feel the same way. Anytime anyone really, but especially men pay attention to me I feel like throwing up because the way they 'pay attention' disgusts me.

    I have felt like you for so long with anyone touching me. When you establish trust, and you are in a loving relationship (touching doesn't need to come into that) touch doesn't become too scary :hug:

    Maybe you're scared of these men's intentions when they find you attractive-which is completely understandable by the way.

    I have felt exactly like you with family. Their touch was contaminated- very unsafe. This was because touch or any kind of intimate contact (non verbal affection etc) in my family has never ever been a loving, safe thing.
  5. SadDude87

    SadDude87 Well-Known Member

    My opinion - and I am the same - with many people, I'm not comfortable with them touching me. Hugging, kissing, any affection - mainly because it makes me feel awkward.

    But with the few people I trust, affection is great. I'm very relaxed and really enjoy the closeness. I think you just have to find someone you can trust and relax with, and your aversion to touch will change.
  6. Thanks for the replies guys.

    The thing is I'm not a teenager anymore; I'm in my late twenties actually so I think I should really be used to intimacy by now. Also, I want to be in a relationship but not those issues are holding me back.

    So anyways, thanks a bunch.
  7. aki

    aki Well-Known Member

    I feel like that sometimes...I hate my dad touching me... I'd feel repulsed if he did.
    And sometimes other people... I'd really need to be touched and when someone does I get scared or hate it....
  8. Some problems, like Aspergers Syndrome leave the sufferer not being able to cope with being touched, but that's not to say you have it. There could be loads of reasons, some bigger, some smaller, but if it concerns you greatly maybe think about going into therapy to help you work through the discomfort you feel.
  9. Nyu

    Nyu Well-Known Member

    Hmmm, I'm kind of the same way. I've been called "uptight" and "prude" because of it. Now, i don't go out with anyone anymore. Besides, all guys just seem so...immature, and i just don't have time. I do, i have loads of time, just not energy i guess. I think i was about 11 when a family member tried to feel me up, so i don't have alot of trust... I have enough trouble keeping a stable friendship, let alone relationship...
  10. I know. I have also been called "uptight". I can't be intimate physically as well as emotionally. Sometimes, I just want someone to hug me and tell me it will be ok but how can they do that when I can't even be held? I realize I'm his way because of the experiences I've had as a child. I just can't open up. I wish I could get over it!!
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