I keep trying to hang on, but it's not working. I called crisisline, which is always a complete hit or miss depending on who answers. Today it was mostly a miss. She thought that I was implying that I wanted to make my family suffer if I take my life. The thing is, they don't seem to realize or care about the hurt they cause me at times. And maybe I do sound like a victim....I don't care. I'm not going to pretend everything is fine. I realize taking my life is my responsibility and no one, no matter how badly they hurt me is responsible. However, they were responsible for their hurtful words and actions and took none. I am tired of this one sided bullshit where if I do something wrong I get judged to the extreme, while others get a fucking free pass. I'm sorry for rambling...hopefully sometime before the end of the year, I will be done hurting.