I have been with my current boyfriend for about 7 years. Much of our relationship I've been lonely but have found other ways to keep happy within the relationship. When I decided to take my life (because of many different reasons), he came home 4 hours early because he was concerned and called the ambulance. I know I'm supposed to be grateful that he "saved" me, but I'm not. I'm bitter. It was my choice to not want to feel the pain of existence anymore, he took that choice away. My attempt wasn't something I took lightly, I thought about it for a LONG time. The doctors said if he hadn't come when he did that I would have stopped breathing on my own. I was so close. Now I'm here, back in our home, doing the same things. He wants to fix things, he genuinely wants us to get better. I can tell how much effort he is putting in, but I can't respond. I'm trying to...but inside I'm so angry with him. He took away my choice. I didn't want anymore pain, I didn't want to feel...I was ready to go. I'm trying to forgive him but I don't know if I can or even how to start.