I cant get a grip of my life

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i am 16 years old i just lost my dad to an accident due to some company who didnt care about safety . i m now living together with my mother but i don't really talk much with her and sometimes i do generate spark with her ever since the aftermath of my dad . my mom and dad side family werent generally in good terms my relative ( both side ) told me not to feel stress out but actually they are the one generating it to me . i just got a scolding from my cousins that i did not visit my grandma during public holiday but actually i visited my grandma counts more than them. before my school term starts and for the begining of first few terms i visited my granny about twice a week or maybe more. i have no girlfriend , friend , short , ugly , poor , sickness in brain and body and people look down on me cause i am not so educated like my cousins

In additional i m getting stress from school as well . sometimes i really wish and pray to god that i can die in behalf of my father who has no mental and phyical defect like me.

total eclipse

SF Friend
Staff Alumni
Hi hun sorry you loss your dad i hope your mom and you are getting some grief therapy to help you through this difficult time. Its okay to feel sad and to let the tears come and go it is just know you dad would only want you to be you okay no one else. You can only do your best and if that is not good enough for others then that is their problems Your grandmother understands she does your cousins need to back off now and give you space hugs to you
would things be better if you lived with your granny?

I'm sorry that you are having such troubles.

what is going on at school that is bad?

you are still young, there's time for things to get better for you

things may be difficult, but it's possible for things to get better for you, and I hope that they will!


Forum Buddy & Antiquities Friend
Sorry to hear about your loss.. Me and my dad hadn't spoken to each other in years.. A couple of years ago I went to him and we had a sit down and cleared the air between us..Now when I'm down I think about who I would hurt if I went thru with it,, Think of your Grams.. It would devastate her if you do anything..There is a life out there you haven't even had a touch of it yet..Be safe!!


Well-Known Member
sorry for your loss and maybe you would find grief counselling helpful.

when you are dealing with trauma of any cause, every other problem seems magnified. ignore your cousins, you know how much you visit your gran, dont let them upset you just because you may be different. can you talk with your nan, tell her how you feel.

what you are going through will affect you and that may be why you also have problems at school...everything ripples outward.

you need to grieve for your loss and it will take as long as it takes, there are no rules. try and talk to a doc or someone, please dont suffer alone. there is always someone here willing to listen.

it have been 2 or more months but i am still feeling the same . out of 10 days i never been happy for more than an hour . people told me to pray to god i told god i don't need so much money i just need my dad and some money to just enough to pass life but i know that i am lie-ing to myself cause this kind of prayers will never be answered . sometimes i wonder why i am born with so much birth defects and yet i outlived my dad

a year ago i was at overseas doing my attachment earning peanuts salary. my dad told me kinship is very important even though one of your uncle is very bad . so with his words i manage to buy everyone a present with some help of my savings . i have 5 cousins 3 belongs to my bad uncle

2 of my cousins from my bad uncle went different country not long ago and i dint received any presents from them i guess most probably my present is too cheap or nothing to them since both of them are from university earn 3,000 and above every month

total eclipse

SF Friend
Staff Alumni
You need to get on something okay to help your depression stay away meds therapy help do that Don't worry abt what others think you know you are kind and caring it is what you think about yourself that matters. I hope you can reach out maybe to community as well see what groups are available to you to make friends to be more social What is important is you cared enough to send a present your heart is good h ugs
I'm truly sorry that you lost your dad. I lost my mother at age 18. It does get better. You never stop missing them, but the pain gets better there over time. The first week after my mom's death I could not eat or sleep, literally. I cried in the middle of the night for months. But now, I use her memory as something to drive me to do better things. I believe my mother is in a better place and still cares for me and would not want bad things to happen to me. It may be hard to do now, but hopefully one day you can smile about the good memories you had with him.
As for the other things, like others said, forget what others think. In the grand scheme of your life, it does not matter. The only thing that matters is what you think of yourself.
If you believe in Karma, then you know your cousins are storing up trouble for themselves in the future. Stay as caring and nice as you obviously are, buy presents if it pleases you to do so, and remember the real joy is in giving rather than receiving.

Think of your dad as often as you can, but think of the good times. They are your building blocks for your own future.

Other posters have suggested you talk things over with your Grandmother and that is a very good idea. I'm a Grannie myself - 10 grandchildren in fact, and because my grandchildren and I are divided by a generation, we are more able to talk as friends.

Grow strong inside. xx


Well-Known Member
Death is an ugly and hard thing to deal with that is for sure. My heart goes out to you for your loss. If you truly want to do something in this life productive, and meaningful seek the answers and understanding of these very things. The answer lies in this search, and you will be relieved to know that you are not defected in anyway. Anything and everything you suffer from can and will heal through knowledge and understanding. I sought them and have them and I suffer no longer personally, besides seeing the suffering I am surrounded by. Even with that I am working on something that I believe will help others who suffer as I have; as you do. There is a call for people who want the suffering to stop, and who loaths the suffering they wittness around them. I answered it, and it is beautiful. Blessings..
i feel so useless when i cant even do my maths properly my tcher couldnt even help me

i guess i m better off dead if i cant get a diploma in my country no cert = no chance of survival
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