i am 16 years old i just lost my dad to an accident due to some company who didnt care about safety . i m now living together with my mother but i don't really talk much with her and sometimes i do generate spark with her ever since the aftermath of my dad . my mom and dad side family werent generally in good terms my relative ( both side ) told me not to feel stress out but actually they are the one generating it to me . i just got a scolding from my cousins that i did not visit my grandma during public holiday but actually i visited my grandma counts more than them. before my school term starts and for the begining of first few terms i visited my granny about twice a week or maybe more. i have no girlfriend , friend , short , ugly , poor , sickness in brain and body and people look down on me cause i am not so educated like my cousins In additional i m getting stress from school as well . sometimes i really wish and pray to god that i can die in behalf of my father who has no mental and phyical defect like me.