so here i am...fate has once again decided that i am to be without a job. i also have social anxiety. the only reason i keep getting jobs is cuz family keeps hooking me up. im out of hook ups. i need a job or im homeless. i cant suck it up like everyone keeps telling me. trying to suck it up makes me think about it...thinking about it makes it worse. am i missing something here? somehow people can go about talking to one another without giving a damn about how they are looked at...why cant i? was there a vital lesson i missed out on in childhood? did playing games all day cripple my mind like they said it would? do i have some sort of imbalance in brain fluid? who the hell knows... even now as i type this im reading over it...just imagining the criticism i will receive cuz of bad grammer...or excessive cowardice.